The Gateway (1991-09-26)

UNIVERSITY ~- OF - ALBERTA

the Gateway

The Official Students’ Newspaper Since 1910 Readership 30,000 # Volume 814 Number7 # Thursday September 26, 1991

Students behaving
themselves

Dean reports fewer alcohol-related offences

by Karen Unland

The Dean of Student Services says
that contraventions of the Code of
Student Behaviour involving alco-
holareslowly becoming less preva-
lent on campus.

Dean Peter Miller gave his annual
report of discipline cases to the
General Faculties Council Executive
on Friday.

Among the non-academic of-
fences that Student Services dealt
with last year were twelve cases of
misappropriation, damage, and
destruction of property, and four-
teen cases of physical abuses, ha-
rassment and dangerous activity.
Miller said that most of these cases
involved alcohol, but that alcohol-
related incidents are less common
than they used to be.

Miller said that the decline re-
flects a new attitude towards
drinking and responsibility on
campus.

“You can’t just say ‘It wasn’t my
fault. 1 was drunk when I did it...’ It
doesn’t make sense to get ina state
where you do things that are ille-
gal.”

Non-academic offences usually
lead toreprimands, restitution, and

fines. Miller said that students un-
able to come up with the money can
pay the fine in the form of service to
the University.

There were also two discipline
cases last year involving groups
violating alcohol regulations. Miller
said that he expects more of these
cases next year because the new
Code of Student Behaviour makes
it easier to prosecute liquor law
violations.

The Students’ Union and the
University of Alberta Peer Health
Educators are responding to this
development by offering a work-
shop called “An Education in Alco-
hol... For Life.”

Jennifer Tupper, director of stu-
dent groups, said that the workshop
is intended to inform groups of their
responsibilities when they host
events with alcohol present.

“It’s just to make clubs aware of
their stake in the game.”

Clubs who do not attend the
October 6 workshop will not be
able to obtain a liquor permit from
the Office of Student Services.
Tupper expects that 75 to 80 groups
will attend.

Finance task force
In The works

by Kim Hathaway

Student finance could be the
subject of a new task force study if
the University of Alberta Senate ac-
cepts the recommendation of its In-
quiries and Planning Committee.

Mary Totman, Executive Officer
of the Senate, said the recommen-
dation called for “the establishment
of a task force to examine the rela-
tionship between financial re-
sources and student financial need.”

The Inquiries and Planning
Committee made its report to the
Executive Committee, who were
“supportive of the concept, ” said

Totman. Now the Inquiries Com-
mittee will examine whether there
are the financial resources and staff
available to proceed with the task
force.

Randy Boissonnault, Students’
Union vp external said, “I’m in
support of the idea. It’s a great idea
if it gauges what the needs of stu-
dents are.”

Totman said the Inquiries Com-
mittee will report back to the Ex-
ecutive Committee at its next
meeting on October 30 and a final
decision on the task force will be
made then.

Inside:

Handbooks - the saga
continues p.3

Babies, Frenchies and Fish,
Oh My... p.6 to 9

Goh to the ballet p.10

Ball Bears meet Dawgs p.16

Most abortions, after all, are performed upon mature
women- offen married- for social and economic

convenience: the child would interfere with a job,
wedding arrangements or a summer holiday.
~ Link Byfield, Alberta Repo:

St: Joseph's College was established in 1926 and continues to offer theology and

philosophy courses to U of A students. See story p. 4

Clive Oshry

Dewey's, HUB fight cooling off

by William Hamilton

The long-simmering dispute be-
tween the Students’ Union and the
HUB Community Association
over the future of Dewey’s Puband
Deli went to an opening round of
arbitration Saturday. Both sides
found some common ground in
their positions soon after the meet-
ing started, said SU President Marc
Dumouchel.

“They were actually in pretty
close agreement,” Dumouchel said
Wednesday. “We agreed on what
the major concerns were, which are
noise and the security of tenants in
HUB.”

The SU and HCA delegates later
decided that Dewey’s could not be
closed down, said Dumouchel.
“From a tenant’s standpoint, the
obvious thing that many would like

to see is to see Dewey’s gone. For
us, fora number of reasons...that’s
not really a viable option,”
Dumouchel said. The SU president
pointed to the lounge’s importance
as an SU business and the impact a
closure would have on members of
the staff.

Dumouchel said the delegates
decided to try relocating Dewey’s
to another site within HUB before
looking at points outside the centre.
“What we came to was an agree-
ment to look for alternative loca-
tions first,” said Dumouchel. “If
that doesn’t work out, we’re going
to continue with the work that we
began over the summer and plan-
ning for dealing with these prob-
lems.”

A public forum on the Dewey’s
situation is slated for October 2 at

the HUB Community Centre, said
Dumouchel. “What we want to do
is goin, identify the concerns as our
group came to them, listen to other
concerns residents have, and then
try to integrate them, present what
kind of plans we’ve got for dealing
with those concerns, and also get
ideas from residents—short of
closing the place, because that’s
something that we’re not really
talking about right now—to rem-
edy those problems.”

Dumouchel did not rule out the
possibility of substantial renova-
tions to the present Dewey’s site.
“Regardless of what we do, we're
going to have to renovate Dewey’s
from a business point of view, and
we're going to have to from the
tenants’ point of view.”

See FIGHT p.2

Page 2 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 #4 The Gateway

soviet Union choking on pollution
Visiting professor paints a grim picture

by Warren Ferguson

The people of the Soviet Union
are living under conditions of eco-
logical catastrophe, according to
visiting professor Vitaly G.
Morachevsky.

Morachevsky, a professor and
head of the Department of Geo-
ecology at St. Petersbourg State
University, delivered grim news
about the environmental damage
suffered by the Soviet Union to a
crowd of students and scholars
Wednesday morning.

“Russia is a good example of
when government and public ac-
tivity doesn’timprove the situation
of the biosphere. The ecological
situation in Russia is a reflection of
economical, social, interethnicaland
other problems,” said
Morachevsky.

Morachevsky stated that the high
level ofindustry in the Soviet Union
hasled to significant concentrations
of pollution in the air, water, and

soil. There is no mechanism to im-
prove industry, nor is there ad-
equate governmental pressure or
action for the protection of the en-
vironment, he said.

A national survey conducted by
the Soviet government in 1990 re-

"There is no noise, no smells.
The land is dead."
Professor V.G. Morachevsky

vealed that 11 percentof the general
population of 300 million live under
conditions of ‘ecological catastro-
phe.’ The quality of water, soil, and
air is not satisfactory for living

conditions. Sixty-eight per cent of
all rivers have such high levels of

pollutants in the water that they are
unsuitable for drinking or swim-
ming. Thesurvey also revealed that
23 per cent of Soviet citizens live in

CA?
CGA?
CMA?

conditions described as ‘limited
permission concentration’ of pollu-
tion. Seventy-two per cent of all
communities have no equipment
for cleaning industrial waste in
water sources. As a result, the mor-
tality rate of children younger than
one year old is seven per cent, es-
pecially in Moscow and St.
Petersbourg.

“It is terrible to see fish that can-
not sink in the water due to pollut-
ants.”

According to Morachevsky,
atomic weapons research in the
Upper Volga over the last four de-
cades has reduced the life expect-
ancy of those living in the area to 54
years.

The disaster at Chernobyl had
even more drastic effects on the
population. The amount of radia-
tion there is more than 10 000 times
the tolerable level. Two million
people should emigrate from this
danger, said Morachevsky.

~ Just remember the M word.

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| eee 2

Russian ecologist Dr. Vitaly G. Morachevsky from St.

Rachel Sanders

Petersbourg spoke on campus Wednesday.

“It is an extremely bad situation
that has global effects. There are no
signs. The grass and the beautiful
trees with fruit show no signs. Still,

you can meet a cat with two heads
and animals with six legs. There is
no noise, no smells. The land is
dead.”

Cheating still a problem

by Karen Unland

Academic dishonesty remains a
problem at the University of
Alberta, according to Peter Miller,
dean of Student Services.

Miller said on Wednesday that
although his report on the number
and disposition of discipline cases
on campus shows only four cases of
plagiarismand one case of cheating
last year, this does not accurately
represent the amount of academic
dishonesty on campus. The Office
of Student Services only hears cases
in which the faculty recommends
suspension or expulsion. Most cases
of plagiarism and cheating are dealt
with at the faculty level and result
in less severe penalties.

Miller said that because plagia-
rism is first handled within the
faculty, there may be a problem
with the consistency of the penalties
meted out.

“There is no doubt that different
faculties view academic impropri-
ety differently.

“Should plagiarism in the Fac-
ulty of Law be a more serious of-
fence than in the Faculty of En-
glish?”

Miller said that plagiarism of-
fences “strike at the very heart of an
institution.”

“If we can’t guarantee the integ-

rity of the degrees... then our de-
grees are worthless.”

The plagiarism cases from last
year led to suspensions ranging
from three months to three years.
The cheating case resulted in a one-
year suspension.

There are plans in the works to
reduce cheating on campus by
changing examination conditions.
Registrar Brian Silzer said that a
proposal is in the works requiring
students to present picture identi-
fication before writing exams.

Silzer is also advocating the
construction of a building desig-
nated specifically for writing exams.

“We've never come close to
meeting the need when the time
comes oncampus to provide proper
exam space.”

According to Silzer, the design of
the building would discourage
cheating by ensuring that students
were separated and unable to look
on to a neighbour’s paper.

Silzer said that the University’s
difficult funding situation has de-
layed the project. In the meantime,
Rehabilitation Medicine has left an
open area in the newly renovated
Corbett Hall to act as an interim
exam centre.

“It’s a small step in the right di-
rection.”

FIGHT from p.1

HCA president David McMullen
agreed that an on-site renovation
was one option for Dewey’s, but
noted that moving the lounge out
of HUB altogether would be more
attractive to his association.
McMullen added that the HCA
never had the intention of closing
Dewey’s down, and that.a final de-
cision on the fate of the bar would
likely come at the end of October.

Saturday’s arbitration meeting
wasSalso attended by delegates from
Dewey’s, Housing and Food Ser-
vices, and HUB Commercial, the
agency which grants retail leases in
the mall.

Correction

Contrary to what was re-
ported in September 24 issue
of the Gateway, the attendance
at the traditional healer forum
was closer to 300.

News
Volunteers:
Come by SUB
282 to get
some story
ideas. See ya.
W &K.

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 4 Page 3

Corporate sponsors
in Corbett Hall

by Stan Baker

In order to recognize financial
support from corporate sponsors,
the University of Alberta has de-
cided to name rooms at the newly
restored Corbett Hall after those
private donors who contributed
more than $10 000 to the project.

Since the provincial government
was only able to assist financially in
the renovation of the building’s
exterior, a capital fund raising cam-
paign called “Building for Tomor-
row” was set up to obtain the nec-
essary funds for the completion of
the building’s interior.

Sue Turner, chair of the “Building
For Tomorrow” committee, has
been pleased with theresponse from
the private sector.

“The support received from our
colleagues in occupational therapy,
physical therapy, speech pathology,
and audiology has been most en-
couraging and gifts from the com-
munity have exceeded our expec-
tations.”

Some of the items already pur-
chased through these donations
includea therapeuticinfra-red laser
unit for physical therapy, a head
operated Peachtree powerchair for
occupational therapy, anda Collins
nine-lighterrespirometer forspeech
pathology.

The Faculty of Rehabilitation
Medicine hopes that Corbett Hall
will act as a national showcase for
the most modern technology in re-
habilitation education.

According to SU vp external
Randy Boissonnault, the Univer-
sity has made the correct decision
in seeking financial support from
corporate sponsors.

“Given the steady decline in gov-
ernment funding to post-second-
ary education over the last five
years, universities, colleges, and
technical institutions must look to
the business community for addi-
tional funding.”

He said, however, that although
the source of funds obtained
through businesses is necessary, it
should not replace the support of
the provincial and federal govern-
ments.

“Albertans and Canadians in
general have expressed a firm
commitment to an accessible,
quality post-secondary system, and
both levels of government should
remember this when they allocate
resources.

“This is part of the trade off. If a
company contributes finances or
capital equipment to the University,
students on campus and the public
at large should be made aware of
this. One way to do this is to name
rooms after major corporate spon-
sors.”

Graduate Students’ Association
president Ken Ross agrees that the
money is welcome as long as it is
unconditional.

“I don’t mind seeing some
acknowledgement of donors. My
concernis that outside donors don’t
set University agenda.”

Students’ Council approved a
policy motion on Tuesday resolving
that the SU would actively pursue
funds and support for the U of A
from members of the business
community, as long as these dona-
tions are not seen to replace fund-
ing from the provincial and federal
governments.

Med student
breaks ground

by Warren Ferguson

John Brisebois is in line to be the
Faculty of Medicine’s first native
graduate since the faculty was es-
tablished over 75 years ago.

Brisebois, a third year medical
student, was the first of eight native
students to enter the faculty under
the university’s Native Health-Care
Careers Program. The program was
created to attract native students
into the field of medicine. In all of
Canada, there are only 32 identified
native physicians.

“Medical schools today are be-
ginning to realize that there are just
not enough native physicians to
serve the community,” said
Brisebois.

According to Brisebois, the need
for native physicians is immense.
Life expectancy for natives is ten
years behind the non-native com-
munity. Infant mortality among
Indians and the Inuit is double the
national average.

Brisebois, who was raised on the
Kahnawake reserve near Montreal,
always aspired to become a physi-
cian. He was accepted for medical
studies by universities in Ontario
and North Dakota, but chose to
study at the U of A because of its
reputation for encouraging native
participation in the medical field.

Brisebois identified the high
drop-out rate in native communi-
ties and the lack of native role mod-
els as barriers to native involve-
ment in medicine.

“Having a role model is impor-

John Brisebois

tant in communities where there
might not be a native physician.”

Efforts by native students in the
program toactasa good role model
will lead to increased native par-
ticipation in medicine, said
Brisebois.

“T consider it my responsibility
because there are so few (native
physicians). If1 don’t doit, who else
is going to do it?”

Program co-ordinator Anne-
Marie Hodes sees Brisebois and
others in the programas setting the
way for native students interested
in medicine.

“We hope that they will beable to
stimulate the kids in Alberta, espe-
cially those on the reserves, to be-
come interested in medicine and
other health careers.”

DE VOS ASPIRATIONS

If you’re looking for a progressive
environment where personal contributions
make a difference, the Government of
Canada should be number one on your
list. Pick up a copy of our information
kit from your campus Career office or
the nearest office of the Public Service
Commission of Canada.

For positions with the Office of the
Auditor General of Canada and with
the Office of the Comptroller
General, submit your application

by October 4th, 1991 at the latest.

For all other positions,
applications must be
submitted by October 11th,
1991.

As an employer, the Government
of Canada offers all qualified
persons an equal opportunity to
compete for available positions
in the Public Service of Canada.

Prepared by the Public
Service Commission
of Canada.

Bw Government Gouvernement
of Canada du Canada

SU vp internal Katrina Haymond with a bunch o'
handbooks.

Rachel Sanders

Un milieu dynamique, ot la contribution de
chaque personne est importante, c’est ce
que vous offre le gouvernement du
Canada. Procurez-vous une trousse
d'information au bureau d’emploi de
votre campus ou au bureau de la
Commission de la fonction publique
du Canada le plus prés de chez vous.

Pour les postes au Bureau du
vérificateur général du Canada et
au Bureau du contrdleur général,
présentez votre candidature avant
le 4 octobre 1991.

Pour tous les autres emplois,
vous devez postuler d’ici le
11 octobre 1991.

Comme employeur, le gouvernement
du Canada accorde 4 toutes les
personnes qualifiées des chances
égales d’accéder aux emplois
disponibles dans la fonction
publique du Canada.

Préparé par la Commission
de la fonction publique

du Canada.

Handbook
giveaway

by Karen Unland

If you didn’t receive your
Student’s Handbook this year and
you desperately want one, don’t
despair. The Students’ Union has
found another bunch of handbooks ~
to give away.

According to SU vp internal
Katrina Haymond, the SU found
out on Monday that the printer had
printed an extra run of handbooks.
Ronald’s Printing will bind the ex-
tras and sell them back to the SU of
one dollar each.

“It’s a pretty good deal because
there’s nothing wrong with the
books at all.”

The printer had previously
quoted the cost of printing another
1000 handbooks at $12 000, costing
the SU $12 per copy.

The extra copies arrived on
Wednesday and will be distributed
at the SUB info desk on September
30 and October 1 starting at 9 a.m.

“We're hoping that that will quell
some of the demand.”

Haymond also encourages stu-
dents who do not want their hand-
books to recycle them by giving
them to others.

“T’d encourage any students who
aren’t using their handbooks and
want to donate them to someone
who really needs them to turn them
in at an info booth.”

Canada

Page 4 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Native students
headed down under

by Warren Ferguson

The Universities of Alberta and
New South Wales have established
formal ties with the creation of an
aboriginal student exchange pro-
gram.

The new program will allow two
aboriginal students from the Uof A
to work and study in Australia in
1992. Students will work closely
with Australian natives to examine
the issues of native rights, land
claims, and the native experience in
society.

Kathy McKinnon and Tina Dion
are the first two candidates con-
firmed under this program toattend
the University of New South Wales
in Sydney, beginning in February.

“The idea of the exchange pro-
gram is to give students a chance to
explore another aboriginal culture,
so that they have a global perspec-
tive,” according to Native Student
Services Director Reinhild Boehm.
She said that the new program will
also give Australian aboriginals a

better understanding of the native
community and reserves in Canada.

McKinnon sees the programas a
good way to compare ideas and
solutions regarding native issues.

“Inanexchange, you are going to
pick up ideas as to what other
aboriginals are working on. Things
that are working for us, may not be
working for them.”

McKinnon, a psychology major,
would like to see how well Austra-

lian natives are being integrated
into their society. She plans to write
research papers on the contempo-
rary sociological and psychological
problems facing Australian natives.
McKinnon added that she wants to
use this information to benefit the
local native community.

While in Australia, Dion, a major
in native studies, will be enrolling
in aboriginal studies and hopes to
work within the local native com-
munity. Both students plan.on
sharing the information they have
received with other students on
campus. They also foresee their role
in the further development of the
exchange program. A lack of ad-
equate financial aid and a need for
increased ties in Australia are some
of their concerns.

Studying and working in Aus-
tralia, however, will be costly.
McKinnon and Dion are still about
$6000 short of meeting their ex-
penses, despite being partially
funded by outside-agencies. Dion
has financial support from her band
and McKinnon is supported by the
Department of Indian Affairs and
Northern Development.

According to Dion, airfare alone
will cost between $2500 and $4500.
The cost of living, she said, is double
of that in Canada.

As part of the exchange program,
two Australian natives will be at-
tending the U of A starting next
September.

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St. Joe's still going strong |

by-Richard Mapa —

Despite its establishment in 1926
and its location on the University of
Alberta campus since that time, St.
Joseph’s College remains to many
students an enigma. Only a small
percentage of the University student
body actually knows any thing
about the college in their midst, or
what goes On behind its walls.

Father Robert Barringer, presi-
dent of St. Joseph College says that
many students know little about
his school.

“Probably the biggest miscon-
ception students have about St.
Joseph’s is that it is a seminary. We
do not train priests here.”

Barringer states that students are
also under the wrongfulimpression
that one must be Catholic to take
classes at St. Joseph’s. Within the
1989-90 academic year 1609 stu-
dents from U of A’s various facul-
ties attended classes at St. Joseph’s
-many of whom Barringer says were
not Catholic or even Christian. All
courses offered at St. Joseph’s are
available to students in all degree
programs which either require or
allow Humanities options.

St. Joseph’s College offers a num-
ber of courses dealing with theo-
logical and philosophical themes.
Dr. Timothy Hartnagel, St. Joseph’s

Alberta Hospital
Ponoka is a speciality
treatment facility
offering acute care,
adult psychiatric
rehabilitation,
mentally impaired
elderly, brain injury
rehabilitation, and
substance abuse
services.

Our leadership role in
the advancement of
mental health, brain

injury rehabilitation,
and psychiatric
nursing education is
being enhanced by
new facilities and
extensive program
developments.

oo | | | lana

Health Care Professionals
We Have What You're Looking For

Alberta Hospital Ponoka is setting an exhilarating pace for progress in the
1990s. Our major redevelopment project has seen the openings of an
Activity and Treatment Centre, Educational Complex, 80 bed Brain
Injury Unit and is currently in the planning stages for a320 bed in-patient
Psychiatric Unit, which will include 200 beds for the mentally

impaired elderly.

The hospital provides its staff with an environment where the focus is on
opportunity, achievement, and education. Opportunities are available in
a variety of areas including Physical Therapy, Occupational
Therapy, Psychology and Nursing.

us at the

October 2, 1991

6:30 p.m. -

To find out more about these career opportunities, we invite you to join

Health Care Connection - 1991

Holiday Inn, Crowne Plaza
(Previously Chateau Lacombe)

6:30 p.m. - 10:00 p.m.

October 3, 1991 10:00 a.m. - 2:00 p.m.
9:00 p.m.

“Student Connection”

“Professional Connection”

If you are unable to attend, please call (403) 783-7672 (collect) or send a

resume to: Human Resources Division, Alberta Hospital Ponoka, Box

1000, Ponoka, Alberta TOC 2H0.

Alberta Hospital Ponoka

dean, says that the most popular
courses offered at the college are
the ones examining the meanings
of love, sex, and marriage within a
Christian context. Barringer says
that “student interest in theology
has been very steady within the last
four to six years,” and that St.
Joseph’s, as heseesit, “certainly has

"(St. Joseph's) certainly has
d role in the moral and
spiritual reflection on
campus."

Father Robert Barringer

a role in the moral and spiritual
reflection on campus.”

The college has been run by
priests of the Basilian order since
1963, and it maintains its own un-
dergraduatelibrary,aresidenceand
Catholic Chaplaincy Services. St.
Joseph’s also works with the

Misericordia and Grey Nuns hos-
pitals, sponsoring their Catholic
Bioethics centre, whose purpose is
to provide courses, consultation,
research and information in bioeth-
ics for all students and especially
for health care professionals.

Hartnagel concedes that the rea-
son St. Joseph’s college may be
overlooked by students, “because
we're dealing with a younger age
group, we know that many students
are at a ‘questioning stage’ in their
lives. University students, because
of their relative youth and intellec-
tual capacity, tend to question the
matter and wisdom of certain ideas
and happenings in life more closely.
They constantly ask questions of
themselves and others and do not
easily place their trust in various
ideologies."

“Students who need counsel in
their personal troubles are always
welcome at the college,” says
Barringer, “and we'll do our best to
help any student.”

Car fire on campus

by Peter S. Moore

Fire gutted a 1987 Ford Tempo
on Monday near Windsor Carpark.
Two unidentified women first saw
the blaze at 92nd Avenueand 116th
Street and pounded on Bruce
Stovel’s dooracross the way, getting
him to call 911.

According to Stovel, the fire
originally looked like two or three
candles on the dashboard but
spread quickly. As the sirens wailed
in the distance, the windows blew
out, spraying glass over several

metres.

“It looked like a Hollywood
movie scene,” stated Stovel, a pro-
fessor of English at the University
of Alberta.

Firefighters arrived within ten
minutes and quickly extinguished
the blaze with a high pressure wa-
terjet.

Neither the owner nor the fire
investigators were available for
comment regarding the cause of
the fire.

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Opinion

Managing Editor: Stephen Notley, 492-5178

truly here, There is ae disaimination and violence towards women

_ without having to manufacture more to get upset about.
___ This reactionary and irrational behavior merely weakens the feminist
cause and precipitates the dismissal of our valid complaints as over-
_reaction. Tory backbencher Bill Kempling’s atrocious behavior towards
Liberal MP Sheila Copps in the House of Commons, for example, is a
justifiable cause for outrage and one which should have been pursued
relentlessly by women across the country. His description of Copps as a
*stut” was a defamation of her character directly related to her sex and
thus an undoubtably sexist attack. Attitudes like Kempling’s are no longer
acceptable, and his position as a member of parliament sets an abominable
_ example for men throughout Canada. Because of the controversy sur-
rounding Fraser, however, the heat has been drawn away from Kempling,
and his behavior is not being condemned as strongly as it should.
Critics of feminism need very little cause to condemn feminists as
reactionary, incoherent and ranting. By misunderstanding and over-
reacting to statements such as Fraser's we merely give these critics greater
opportunity to deny the validity of the entire range of women’s issues. If
we don’t think before we pounce upon the slightest implication of sexism,
we undermine our own goals and make our drive towards true equality
_ more difficult than it has already become.

UNIVERSITY : OF: ALBERTA

MheGateway

Advertising 492-4241, Room 234 SUB

Main Office 492-5168, Room 282 SUB
FAX Number 492-4643
Mailing Address Room 259 Students' Union Building,
U of A, Edmonton, AB, T6G 2J7

Editor-in-Chief Paul M. Charest 492-5168
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Contributors Irene Kim, Gary Wong, Richard Mapa, Kim
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Richard Choi, Shaka Weekes, Ernie Boffa, Rick Harcourt,
Rebecca Yawnghwe, Paul Matwychuk, Jim Gibbon, Rick
Nutt, the Shroom guy whose name I still don't know, Clive
Oshry, Darrin Nielsen, Dave Johnston, Kelly Arndt, Kelly
Arndt, Dan Pigat, Curtis Dumonceux, Atul Khular, Dan
Carle, Andy Phillpotts, Doug Smith, Jason Wieckert,
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Sowak, Sabrina Plitt, Riko Suave, D.J. Lindsay Dodd, Carla
Smithson, Robert McCarthy, Jesus, Giles Alexander Pinto,
Giles Alexander Buick, and Rowdy Roddy Piper, a truly

capable actor.

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All opinions signed by the writer do not necessarily reflect the views of The Gateway.

NANCY BETKOWSKI WONT FAY

100% OF CLINICAL ABORTION COSTS... -

dY2

ISTHAT A BLESSING ORA CURSE?

Letters

Abortion argument ‘drivel’

I'd like to take this opportunity to
respond to Steven Yi’s insightful
article “I don’t want to pay for it.”
which appeared in the September
24 issue of the Gateway. In his ar-
ticle, Mr. Yi asks “Why should the
government, and consequently the
taxpayer, financially redeem
someone’s sexual indiscretion?”
The allegedly prohibitive fee for a
safe, professional abortion was es-
timated at between $300.00 to
$500.00. This figure is negligible
when compared the cost of sup-
porting a single mother and her
child for even a few months via the
already overburdened welfare
system. Mr. Yi also seems to forget
that doctors also charge fees for the
delivery of infants. I don’t think the
money argument holds up very
well, after all children need to be
fed, clothed, educated, medicated,
pensioned, and insured. By con-
trast abortion is a bargain for the

society, but that’s not why itshould
be kept safe, legal, and accessible.
No woman should be forced to bear
achild that she cannot afford, and/
or that she does not want.

Yi’s article repeatedly makes
references to “sexual indiscretion,”
and attributes unwanted pregnan-
cies solely to “the laissez-faire atti-
tudes of certain people who are too
shiftless to understand the serious
consequences of their sexual ac-
tivities ... [and] ... too self-indulgent
to utilize birth control.” This simple-
minded statement indicates that the
author believes that contraceptives
are 100% effective. Contraceptive
failure is still the most common
reason cited for abortion. Just to
refresh your memories, his bril-
liantly constructed, ready-made
rebuttal to this argument runs as
follows: “’What if your condom
breaks or something?’ Well, sue the
company who made the defective

contraceptive for the abortion
money.”

This type of thinking is so shal-
low it’s insulting, especially when
one considers that the young and
the poor are those most affected by
a costly abortion.

The factis abortion is notamoney
issue. When Mr. Yi. says that “these
people. . .ought to be held finan-
cially liable” I believe he is really
talking about punishing those
people who do not live up to his
personal notion of morality. I can
see no other reason for this assertion
of such unsupportable drivel. Mr.
Yi’s vocabulary is impressive; his
logic is not. This is not surprising,
logic often suffers when forced to
operate within the narrow confines
of prejudice.

Christopher Bond
Arts IV

_symbol of the Day

Dollar sign

Money money money

Of course, the dollar doesn't
represent all money, but as far as
our culture goes, it's what counts.

Money is the root of all evil, it is
said, and this may be true, but let's
face it, you simply can't get a cool
stereo without a lot of money or the
ability to steal, so I can't see it as
being really all that bad.

Much as it is easy to malign

money, itis one of the mostinterest- _

hearts, money. I want it. All of it it.

ing creations of civilization. Infi-
nitely quantifiable, yet mysteri-
ous beyond the darkest sorcerer's
spell, money, like leadership, only
has as much value as we give if.
We know, intellectually, that
money is only a means of ex-
change, but somehow it has ac-
quired strange mystic value in it-
self. Eater of souls, twister of

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ Page 7

More letters

Why argue abortion?

Why do Kottand Klontz putsuch
faith and energy into “educating
the public” about abortion? How
many are left that don’t have an
opinion yet? And if there is still an
undecided population out there,
what good does it do them to con-
vert them to somebody’s cause? I
see no end to the battle: if you

believe that the foetus is a person
then you are pro-life with a passion
(it’s blatant murder); if you believe
that the foetus is not a person then
you are pro-choice with a passion
(it’s blatant infringement of
women’s rights). This results in
little more than a war-torn waste-
land. Morgenthaler will fight for

clinics forever,and people will fight
against him forever. Maybe instead
of “educating the public” and
“protecting rights” someone aught
to push for some semblance of co-
operation and compromise.

Wayne Hoff
Education IV

Campus recycling pathetic

I recently returned to the U of A
after working for two years. I am
heartened and disappointed by
what I see. The University of
Alberta remains a world leader in
many research fields and has
wonderful facilities for scholarly
and athletic pursuits yet has been
bypassed—for the most part—by
the ‘green revolution’ striking the
population at large.

AsI wandered fromclass to class,
I was struck by the numbers of
popcans and juice bottles lined up
outsideand on top of garbage cans.
it seems that students want to re-
cycle but the facilities are lacking.
Even V-wing, where hundreds of
students spend their days, has only
two inconspicuous recycling con-
tainers. CAB cafeteria had none
the day I ventured through. I
coudn’t even find a single paper
recyclng container until I reached
the Humanities building. In de-
fense of the University however, I
did notice that the libraries are try-
ing hard to keep up with the
recyclng wave. It appears that ev-

Campus

As anavid participant in lifeand
a full time resident of Earth, I like
to do the best I can to make it a nice
place for myself and all other spe-
cies and beings to live. Much to my
surprises and dismay, I have en-
countered far too many people who
frown upon the efforts of myself
and others to do a little fixing up;
restaurants requiring that you use
their disposable plates and uten-
sils, stores that insist you takea bag
with your purchase, and buildings,
roads and landowners that pro-
hibit bicycles. Ican’t force everyone
in the world to do their part, but all
I ask is please don’t prevent me
from doing all I can.

The world Isee around meseems
to be taking this request to heart.

And we'll go up

ery photocopying machine on
campus is accompanied by a paper
recyling container.

It’s sad to think that this popula-
tion of 28 000 intelligent, dynamic
people has fallen to the background
ofanimportantissue like recycling.
Even civic politicians were moti-
vated enough to initiate the Blue

Box system, city-wide almost three
years ago. Even in the recent issue
of the Gateway (September 12), there
wasn’t a mention of anything even
remotely environmentally con-
scious. Pretty sad, guys.

Susan M. Fossey
Science

Native news story too
flippant, irresponsible

We attended the lecture on tra-
ditional healing given by Rufus
Goodstriker and Bertha Blondinon
Monday afternoon, and reacted
with some discomfort to the front
page review. Although the facts
were accurately worded, we feel
that Warren Ferguson has missed
the spirit of the lecture and does an
injustice to Bertha Blondin with
the flippant nature of his listing of
“simple remedies for health”. Al-
though the cures are hard to be-

lieve when our culture is accus-
tomed to a “take two aspirin and
call me in the morning” type of
medical practice, a listing of tradi-
tional native cures like a recipe
without the reverence expressed
by the speaker is irresponsible.

Linda Smith
Nursing I
Raj Bhardwaj
Science IV

ecology not bad

The bus lane on 109 st. has been
widened for bicycles, more bi-
cycles, more bicycle/pedestrian
paths have gone into the parks,
and the lady at the grocery store
realized that I don’t need a bag for
my apple, Ill just take the receipt.
I don’t know who’s in charge of all
these changes, maybe it is me and
my colleagues, or maybe it’s just
time it happened, but I would just
like to say thank you. Thanks for
helping and thanks for letting me
help.

One institution in particular has
earned special commendation: our
own University. Sure, there are still
lots of things to be done, but fro
what I’veseen, we have a dammed
good start. There are bike paths

and racks for bikes throughout the
campus. The stores know we don’t
need a bag. The restaurants let us
us Our Own cups and containers
and cutlery. There are plenty of
can and bottle recycling depots
around, and the place is clean! I
think this cleanliness trend is con-
tagious, and that is good. People
don’t throw their garbage every-
where, smokers aren’t tossing their
butts anywhere, and there isa gen-
eral feeling of caring. Thank you
everyone, and thanks to the Uni-
versity, all of its staff and students.
We've done a great thing for each
other, I like what I see.

Gary Millard
Science I

_ meeting!

_ afterwards.

: Thursday October 3 at 2 pm
in room 036 SUB

unkies!
Come to: a 1 Gateway photo

to RATT for beer

(STUDY SKILLS SEMINARS

Learn to study more effectively and give your grades a
boost! Study Skills Seminars are offered to University of
Alberta students. The seminars will cover the following top-
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¢ Textbook reading skills
¢ Examination techniques
e Writing papers

¢ Time Management
¢ Scheduling
¢ Concentrating

e Notetaking $10.00 Cl
: harge

For more information, and to register, contact:

Student Counselling Services

102 Athabasca Hall e 492-5205
Ss s

RESEARCH
ASSISTANT

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is required to assist the Director of Research at the
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September 30 - October 4

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Programs available at the International Centre, 172 HUB,
or any S.U. information desk

\,
Stuayy wo

ATIONALIZE YOURSELF!

Page 8 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Opinion

Something strange is happening and
you don’t know what it is, do you Mr.
Jones? — Robert Zimmerman

It breaks my heart to see Canada
splitting at the seams because of a
growing intolerance and ignorance
of that what makes this country so
wonderful: its cultural diversity. It
is especially disconcerting to me
when Mr. Mulroney et al put to-
gether a new package deal that on
theone hand proposes to recognize
Quebec asa distinct society and on
the other invites “all Canadians, all
political parties who believe in one
undiminished Canada to set aside
other differences to engage in na-
tion building.”

I am the first to recognize the
distinctiveness of Quebec in the
Canadian landscape but when it
comes to enshrining these changes

Is Quebec a distinct society?

inthe Constitution and the Charter
of Rights, that is another, more
delicate, matter.

For one thing, what about all
those other ‘distinct societies’ in
Canada that have been shafted for
so long? Sure Quebecis the largest,
but why don’t our courts take into
account the special responsibility
to preserve and promote other just
as viable distinct societies? Why is
the protection of French Civillawa
potential go-ahead when Native
self-government and law enforce-
ment are put on the backburners
for future consideration? Are Brian
and the boys interested in “a Con-
stitution cherished in the hearts”
of all Canadians or merely in the
hearts of the cherished French-
voting majority in Quebec? Could
it just be a numbers game to them?

There is also the problem of
Quebec’s French-speaking major-
ity's attitude towards non-French
Quebecois, and Franco-Canadians
who live outside of Quebec and
face surviving in potentially hos-
tile environments if Quebec does

get distinct society status.

By wrapping a chain around
Quebec’s distinct culture and pad-
locking it in an attempt to keep la
belle province in a state of frozen
time, those people wanting a dis-
tinct society clause in the Charter
of Rights and Constitution ignore
the needs of the rest of Canada.
People changeand cultures change.
Cultures have absorbed and dis-
carded the new and the old since
the beginning of time. Why fight
it?

The ignorance of evolving cul-
tures exists on both sides of the
debate. Ihavespoken to Quebecois
who were amazed that came from
a French community in Alberta.
They simply did not realize there
was a French culture outside of
Quebec. I have also spoken to
Albertans who believe Franco-
Albertans and other minorities in
the province should stop “stealing
our jobs and go back to where you
came from.” “To hell with you,’ I
say, “I have as much right to be
here as you do.” I was born in

Alberta. My parents were born in
Alberta. My grandparents came
here 80 years ago tosettle this land.
lam just as proud of my heritage in
this province as I am of the 300
years my ancestors spend in Que-
bec. Moi, je me souviens aussi.

To ignore my past would be a
betrayal of the language, culture
and traditions that shape and
mould us, but I also realize tradi-
tionsand cultures change with time
and I must adapt. Quebec will not
remain static no matter what leg-
islation it tries. Nor can the rest of
Canada. We can not set in stone
cultural rules that will force Cana-
dians to stand still with the times
and traditions of one point in his-
tory.

Quebec risks becoming some-
what fascist when it attempts to
preserve its culture through legis-
lation. Bill 101 is just one nasty step
in this direction and only ignores
the rights of a good deal of Quebe-
cois who are not of French descent.

The new and improved(?) ver-
sion of Meech merely brings to

mind words that were originally
by George Orwell but could easily
be attributed to Brian Mulroney;
“All animals are equal. .. but some
animals are more equal than oth-
ers.

Recognition and education is
needed to combat the ignorance
that promotes the intolerance of
cultural differences. People see
these differences as a threat and
rather than learn from one another
they try to put their respective
cultures on display where they will
remain unaltered. Canadians must
establish contact with one another
and learn to respect the varying
cultures of the land. But if we per-
sist in building a patchwork of
cultural Berlin Walls in an attempt
to preserve that which is destined
to change we condemn ourselves
to failure. The idea of building a
country through artificially
adopted rules of cultural conduct
will only lead to greater distress
further down the road. It is like
trying to build a mansion on a
foundation of muskeg. If the
country is to survive we must all
learn from one another's cultures
and adapt to the change that in-
evitably will happen.

Hamilton

Frank McKenna’s Liberals won
a tactical victory in the New
Brunswick general election when
they retained a four-to-one major-
ity in the province’s Legislative
Assembly. But Monday’s vote was
an all-out disaster for the Conser-
vatives’ Dennis Cochraneand NDP

NB CoR success heralds Alberta

leader Elizabeth Weir. In winning
four of a possible 58 seats between
them, Cochrane and Weir hacked
their way out of the wilderness
only to find themselves stranded
on the shore of the Bay of Fundy at
low tide.

Arch Pafford may not realise just
how biga herring trawler he tipped
over when eight members of his
Confederation of Regions Party
(“CoR” for short) managed to form
New Brunswick’s Official Oppo-
sition this week. As the New
Democrats have found to their dis-

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may for the last 25 years,
Maritimers are infamous for their
allegiance to the nation’s two
founding political parties. How did
Pafford’s party manage to relegate
both the NDP and the Tories to
Fredericton’s back benches? And
what does this portend for the three
major parties in our own province?

The issue which has kept CoR
beyond the pale for most of its
history has been its stance on
mother tongues within the confed-
erate states. There would bea place
for both official languages in the
loosely-knit entity that CoR would
set up—under Knutson’s formula,
Québec would become the lone
French-speaking state in the con-
federation, while the other three

Pete

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would work in English. Unfortu-
nately for francophone Acadians
in the Maritimes, anglophone
Beaconsfielders in Montréal, and
speakers of Afrikaans just about
everywhere else in Canada,
Knutson and his followers would
make sure that each official lan-
guage had its place—with all that
that implies.

While minority language rights
have been a point of contention
across Canadain recent years, New
Brunswick is perhaps the province
most vulnerable to an anti-bilin-
gualism backlash, probably the
province most likely to harbour
dissent against bilingualism—and
certainly CoR’s easiest target next
to Alberta itself. Official bilingual-
ism has been a fact of life in New
Brunswick for twenty years, and
the impact on the province’s

shake-up

francophone population is compa-
rable only to that of Québec’s Quiet
Revolution of the 1960s. Concerned
that they might be losing economic
ground to these newly-enfran-
chised Acadians, a constituency of
anglophone New Brunswickers
came into being, searched for a
platform to air their
grievances...and apparently found
all three of the mainline parties
wanting.

What happened in the New
Brunswick election is likely to
happen ona larger scale in Alberta
if the three mainline parties in this
province do not respond to the
conditions that embarrassed their
Atlantic Tory and NDP counter-
parts. Barring a major shift in the
strategy and attitudes of Alberta’s
Conservatives, their twenty-year

CoR cont'd p.9.

15th.

the late penalty will apply.

with the foregoing.

FEES TUE
QUIZ By September 27

The last day for payment of fees is September 27th. If a
student is paying by installments (terms), the amount of the
first installment is the First Term assessment and the last day
for payments is September 27th. The amount of the second
installment is the Second term assessment plus a $25.00
installment charge and the last day for payment is January

A penalty of $15.00 per month will be assessed for each
month after the last day for regular payment of fees in which
a student's fees remain outstanding. Students are reminded
that the University cannot accept responsibility for the actions
of the post office if payments are not received by a deadline
date. Also, if payment is dishonored there will be a $15.00
charge and if not replaced by the appropriate deadline date,

If fees are to be paid from some form of student assistance,
please refer to Section 15.2.5 of the 1991-92 FEES’
INFORMATION AND TIMETABLE ADDENDUM booklet.
Heritage scholars may call the Fees Section, Office of the
Comptroller for clarification of policy, if uncertain.

Students in the Faculty of Graduate Studies and Research
are reminded that their fees are also to be paid in accordance

Office of the Comptroller
Fees Section

i 2 '
SpE Wh A alegre AL i

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ Page 9

Funny Ha-ha

Driving missed plagiarism.
Topics. Life. It's fun to write. Say,
did you know that I'm the
Gatewayboy? I'm the fellow who
you may or may not always see
delivering the paper you now hold.
I'm the cat who sweats his
skinnyboy butt off, underpaid,
outcast, unclean. I'ma being of pure
Evil. Fear me.

On being a Gateway boy

So. Wanna hear some fun
Gatewayboy trivia? Well, let's start
with the van. I drive the Student's
Union van, which is both grand as
loveand terrible asice. Thatsounds
like a fucking Narnia story exerpt.
Anyway, it's a great pleasure
knowing that I can park my ass
anywhere, buta stinging reminder
that I don't really want to be any-
where I can park. I mean, who re-
ally wants to work? It's not like I
get a lot of dates that way.

"Ooooooh! Cool van, honey! Let's
get married before the chapel closes
for lunch!"

Like the paper's ever out by
lunch.
who's now Entertain-

Gabino,

ment Editor (go figure), did my job
last year. It's not like I wasn't
warned. But it still bugs me.

"What, dear Fish, is it that
troubles you so?", you ask.

One simple sentence bugs me,
my friends. Not even a sentence,
more of a sentencette. .. ready? No
you're not. You need background.
Setting. Exposition. That kind of
Shites.

Pretend you're me. Tall. Thin.
Androgynous. There you are,
smiling, delivering this very pa-
per! And yet you are sad. There is
a feeling of doom. Of hatred. Of
death. You cringe. I explain.

Now you're not me anymore.
But you're not you. You're some-

one else. I look at you, as happy
Gateway boy, oblivious. Our eyes
meet. You're smiling. You're
cheery. I back up, but the deed is
done-

You say IT.

"Hot off the press!"

I twist, writhing, spitting liquid
stuff you really wouldn't want to
eat or spread on your pink baby. I
die. It's your fault. You did it.

"Hot off the press!"

DEMONS! Don't say that! It's
EVIL. It's HURTFUL! It's really just
sort of dumb. I like people! I like
talking! I like talking people, even
talking to people, but for the love of
all that is still holy on this damned
decaying wasted world, PUH-

LEEEEEESE don't come up to me
and say. . .THAT.

On that note, I must write a re-
traction and an apology to anyone
who feels like receiving it. Unless
you're a jerk. I mean, if you're a
jerk, what the Hell do you care
anyway? I think dogs are jerks, by
the way. I was walking Sabrina's
dog, whose name is Czar, and I
started thinking. Why do dogs pee
everywhere? If I did that, people
would call me a jerk. Just stands to
reason. Like, do dogs think "Hey,
nice bush. ThinkI'll piss all over the
fucking thing. Yeah. I'ma dog." T'll
beta dog named V-Wing. What the
fuck does "V" stand for, anyway?
Victory? Visionary? Vasectomy
(sorry pops)? Va-Va-Va-Voom?
Hm. Some damn dog named it just
to piss me off. I hate life.

Take care! Fish.
Oo

Jack
Hammer

rat patrol

from fort
bragg

Wasn’t grade school stupid?
Think about all the absurd stuff
that you could get in trouble for.
What a bloody police state! For
instance, in my elementary school,
there were separate washrooms for
grades 1-3 and 4-6. If you were
caught peeing in the wrong can,
you were in for a mess of trouble.
Elementary Apartheid, eh? I am
not making this up. Running in the
halls was always a good way to
incur the wrath ofa teacher. As ifit
was going to hurt them when you
fell down and broke your face. Or
throwing snowballs. Once I was
threatened with the strap for
throwing a snowball! The strap!
Think about it. What if you were
having a nice bloody great snow-
ball fight in Quad and suddenly

from CoR, p. 8.

stranglehold on the Legislature will
come to an end—but the New
Democrats’ dependence on head-
lines for their results may backfire
even more dramatically than it al-
ready has in the case of Edmonton
Highlands MLA Pam Barrett anda
lottery-funded golf-course irriga-
tion system, and the Liberals’ dif-
ficulties in getting their initiatives
out of the Legislature Annex lie as
much in a failure to communicate
as in their status as the smallest of
three parties in the House.

If Alberta’s three major political
parties are unable to change course,
then it is likely that a party to the
right of all three will arise to attract
those who are disenchanted with
the political process as it now
stands. CoR proved in New
Brunswick that one major issue is
all it takes to turn a political party
comprised of Letters to the Editor
into a big headache for a govern-
ment—and an even bigger head-
ache for an opposition.

If nothing else, Canadian liquor
prices in 1991 will make things all
the easier for a like-minded gang
of thugs in a bar to get involved.

President Paul or Milquetoast Marc
came out and called you into some
office, where you were givenastern
reprimand and the threat of being
whacked with a big wooden ruler
made in Michigan? Elementary
school principals are Nazis, I tell
you.

Junior high gets a bit better, but
not much. The really great stunt
that we pulled in junior high was
the Great Styrofoam Riot of 1983.
The school had just got a new set of
Apple Ile computers to replace our
Commodore PETs (remember
those?) and someone got a hold of
thestyrofoam blocks that they were
packed in. Soon enough, a dozen
of us were out in the school field
smashing and shredding and pul-
verizing this sytrofoam all over the

bloody place until everything was
white. It was winter in September.
I'll never forget our principal bus-
tling out onto the field in an Orson
Welles low-angle shot and roaring
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU
THINK YOU’RE DOING?! CLEAN
THIS UP!!! You used to get called
down to the office for not having a
clean locker, too. And, no matter
what, no teacher would ever accept
alate essay. How come we can sue
university profs over things like
that, but some poor sod in 8B has to
get boned? Junior high school
principals are Nazis as well.

Highschool. Jesus. I could fillan
entire page of the Gateway with the
crap that happened to us in high
school. High Schule Uber Alles. Once
we decided to piss off our cranky
librarian by getting 25 people to
take out 3 or 4 books each
throughout the course of a week.
The plan was to return them all at
once, so the librarian would have
this big avalanche of books pour-
ing down on her square head. She
somehow got wise to us, though,
and blew the horn on my friends
and me. So then it was down to
Gestapo HQ for an interrogation
by Wayne Himmler, our vice-
Fuehrer:

“The librarian tells me you and
your friends have been taking out
a lot of books lately...”

“Oh. And that’s wrong, sir?”

“I think you know what Imean, Mr.
Hammer! “

And yet, we all just sat there and
took it! Resistance was futile. They
had ways of making you get a note
from your mother. It would be cool
to change back into the body ofa 9-
year old fora day, like in Vice Versa,
and return to your old playground:

“Jack Hammer! Did you just
throw a snowball at Corey?”

Call 459-7261

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at the University of Alberta

Next Seminar: Sept. 21 & 22

“WhatifI did, you farty old bat?!”

“Gaw! You are going to see Mr.
(Some Ukranian name), young
man!”

“You'll have to catch me first,
grandma!” Pow! A slushball right

in the kisser, etc...

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MCCALLA PROFESSORSHIPS
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The Faculty of Arts invites continuing
full-time members of the Faculty to apply
for a McCalla Professorship for 1992-23.
These prestigious awards provide full-time
teaching relief for the period September to
April to enable recipients to pursue a
research/creative project in Edmonton.
The professorships cannot be held
concurrently with, or immediately
preceding, or immediately following a
study or administrative leave.

Application forms are available from
department offices. Applications are to be
forwarded to Department Chairs and must
be received by the Dean of Arts by
November 15 1991. Additional information
may be obtained from Baha Abu-Laban,
Associate Dean of Arts (492-4221).

Kntertainment

Entertainment Editor: Gabino Vidal Travassos, 492-7052

Ballerina Goh has the will

National Ballet of Canada
The Merry Widow
Sunday, September 29 and Monday

interview by Robert McCarthy

Themorning has proved a wearying affair
for Chan Hon Goh, the ballerina whose
outstanding performances for The National
Ballet of Canada have generated world ac-
claim. Returning to Edmonton with their
visually resplendent full-length production
of Ronald Hynd’s The Merry Widow, the

__ Toronto based company has carefully taken

the final steps in unveiling Goh—a talent
nurtured and enhanced within the frame of
the last three seasons. =
The ballet presumably should speak for
itself. The neo-classicism of Hynd’s feature
ballet bridges the gap that so often exists
between the beauty of classical ballet and
whatever it is that exists within modern
dance. The focus of the tour has been drawn
toward Goh, who has been politely facing

_ people like Graham Hicks all morning.

- Chan Hon Goh’s resume is an attestation
to the worth of those who continuously travel
issearch of mastery within theirart. The Goh
Ballet Academy furnished the young balle-

~ rina with the skills that quickly enabled her

to join the senior Company upon graduation
in 1986. The apprenticeship under the guid-
ance of her father, Choo Chiat Goh, prepared
her for the challenges that lay ahead. “My
father understands that for a dancer to
acheive success, the will to achieve must
come from within. I was never pressured to
dance, and actually decided to spend two
years away from ballet during my earlier
schooling. My father enabled me to fall in

love with ballet, and to appreciate that to
__ acheivesuccess, the commitment must equal
' the desire.”

__ Following principal roles in several pieces

for The Goh Ballet Company, the aspiring
ballerina performed as a guest artist with
various leading troupes as well as becoming
one of the four finalists in the complicated
Prix de Lausanne International Competition
of Dance in Switzerland. “The knowledge I
gained from the competition, both emotion-
ally and professionally, enabled me to per-
form with greater confidence than I ever had
before. The semi-finals occured on February
1st—I danced my best that day—my sev-
entéenth birthday.”

Ateighteen Gohbecame the first Canadian
to win the silver medal at the prestigious
Adelaine Genee competition in London; the
following July Chan Han Goh became a
member of The National Ballet of Canada.
The Company offers Goh an opportunity to
develop her genius within the fold of a long
established troupe that takes its placeamong
the most recognized ballet companies in the
world, much is the same manner as. Evelyn
Hart has with The Royal Winnipeg Ballet.
The appreciation is evident within Goh’s
hesitant evaluating. “The repertoire consists
of many ballets that emphasize classical
training—the choreography is consistently
challenging. The contemporary variations
retain a fluid movement of grace. As a bal-
lerina, it is a pleasure to perform within a
company that retains the basic elements of
quality dance. I am very grateful for the
opportunities to prove myself as a dancer
through pieces that demand excellence.”

The Merry Widow intertwines the com-
edy of human affairs with the political and
romantic elements that continuously flow
beneath the surface. The ballet is visually
accentuated through turn of the century cos-
tumes and spectacular sets, and full orches-
tral accompaniment completes a setting of
beauty unfamiliar with the modernage. Chan

see Ballet p.12

a ae a ee os a ~ tee Se

You may have missed
the concert de l'année

Feed the Need Benefit Concert
Hawrelak Park Amphitheatre
September 22

by Giles Alexander Pinto

People are still starving in Africa. Years
after Live Aid, 27 million peopleare in danger
of starving to death in Ethiopia, Sudan, the
Sahel, Burkino Faso, Niger, Chad, and
Mauritania. Sobering thought; that’s almost
the entire population of Canada. But every-
one asks themselves, what can we do? Well,
you could grab all the significant others in
your. life and spend a Sunday afternoon
dancing and grooving to Afrocaribbean
music. This was the guiding premise behind
the first annual Feed the Need Benefit Con-
cert, organized by the Canadian Red Cross
Society in Edmonton.

The show was like Live Aid in that it also
addressed famine and hunger and featured
diverse, talented acts playing to an even
more diverse audience. Fil Fraser, from the
Alberta Human Rights Commission, opened
the concert with a well-delivered, concise

speech on why “our world” needs benefits

like this: in the Age of Communication we
are linked to people anywhere on the planet,
and, consequently, more acutely affected by
what might befall them. The human chain
has grown stronger, and itis up to us to build
on that bond by helping others around the
world; this, Mr. Fraser intoned proudly, is a
very “Canadian” sentiment (that’s right, boys
and girls, there is something good about
living in this land of ours).

He was followed, appropriately, by the
sextet Juba, who demonstrated cross-cul-
tural bonding in action by recounting,
through acapella song, their trip to South
Africa. Imagine the Manhattan Transfer with
the soul of Ladysmith Black Mambazo, and
you will get a clear picture of what was truly
a “warm-up act”. The cold weather did not
daunt the members of the La Carabell
Dancers, whoshimmied and swirled in their
colourful African outfits with professional
style (their three troupes ranged in age from
grade school kids to their mothers). And, to
get the audience warm, hometown favorites
Tropical Fever took the stage and ignited the
theatre with some hot soca and reggae.

They were followed by the Kekeli Danc-
ers, whose sharp choreography took the
audience by storm (as we wiped the sweat
from our dance-a-holic brows). We were
given a chance, again, to try some moves of
our own when dancehall reggae specialists
Reality took the stage and rocked the house.
Now we were truly exhausted, and treated
toa unique performance by the Pre-Canadian
dancers and drummers, a Native group who
drove all the way down from Lesser Slave
Lake upon hearing about the benefit.

Friday.

show, or otherwise. Be sad.

Hey, this weekend, if you are a resident of North Garneau, you can go to a FREE
Barbeecoo presented by the Students Association of North Garneau. There's even a
band—Cheap Sunglasses. Festivities start at Noon-thirty. 5

Hey, hey, you can buy your Jello Biafra tickets NOW! They're only $8.50 (less for
students) and are available at the SUB Information Desk. Do it.

Hey, hey, hey, Junior Gone Wild is at the Bronx tonight.

Hey, ho, You can buy TWO FOR ONE tickets to THE MERRY WIDOW (National
Ballet) at the SUB Information Desk. Aren't they nice to us?

Boy, there's the last weekend of the Maltese Bodkin at the Chinook. No show on

Mr. Dressup is having the "Farewell to Casey and Finnegan Tour" this weekend
at the Jubilee. This will be the last time you can see Casey and Finnegan live, on the

EE

4

BENEFIT
CONCERT

o

This show wouldn’t let the audience sit
still, as they brought out Tropicanos, who
inflected their Caribbean sounds with some
jazz-fusion. The Kekeli Dancers returned
and kept the stage more-than-warm as the
Frank Carroll Band set up. Mr. Carroll and
the boys closed the show with the most
musically proficient set, featuring funky,
guitar-driven renditions of original reggae
songs and Bob Marley covers.

This benefit was unlike Live Aid in that
there were no superstar acts and it was held
not ina coliseum but in beautiful Hawrelak
Park with the trees turning orange and the
ducks flitting around a nearby pond; it was
more like Woodstock in its grassroots ap-
proach. African food was waiting to be
sampled and you have not lived until you
sat on the grass and devoured chiliina bread
bowl. The show also differed from Live Aid
in that there are no ambiguities where the
money is going: the Red Cross will use it to
establish health posts and programs, dis-
tribute living necessities and teach people
more effective agricultural practices. The
goal here is to break the cycle of famine that
is caused by drought, poverty, massive de-
forestation, and civil war, not just to raise
massive amounts of money. If you would
like to help, contact the Red Cross Society at
9931 106 St., or send donations to:

The Canadian Red Cross Society, Alberta
- N.W.T. Division, 737-13th Ave. S.W.,
Calgary, AB, T2R-1J1

Finally, if you’re around next fall, snatch
up a ticket to the Second Annual Feed the
Need Concert, and take one Sunday off to
party sO a Agood cause.

Precommend...

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ Page 11

So, tell me, Curt, what makes you think you're funny?

Curt Cloniger
at Horowitz Theatre
Friday, September 27

interview by Carla Smithson

Curt Cloniger is a Christian comedian
who has been doing one-man theatre shows
for secular and Christian audiences for the
pastnine-years. Hestudied theatreat Abilene
Christian University and San Francisco State
University. He’s known for a particularly
energetic show and his general appeal to
everyone. I managed to call him at his home
in Mobile, Alabama last week. This is selec-
tion from our conversation.

Carla Smithson: So, could you tell me
something about your upcoming performance on
Friday night.

Curt Cloniger: Godviews is a show about
the misconceptions people have about God.
I usually do about five or six funny mis-
conceptions people have about God, such
as: God asa cosmic old geezer, an old fellow
that keeps falling asleep. And then I end
with a proper biblical perspective of what
God is like (which I won’t give away in this
interview, because you'll have to come to
the show to find out).

CS: What else can you tell me about the way
the show is being presented?

CC: It’s almost a stand-up comic piece. It’s
pretty fast moving, and a lot of fun. I tend to
approach things generally on a light side.
It’s a serious message but I want it to be
palatable.

CS: Is this the kind of show that would be
accessible to non-Christians? Would it turn them
off?

CC: There isn’t much Christianese jargon,
so non-Christians will feel comfortable. I
usually have more than a majority of my
audience being non-Christians, and it is
pretty well received.

CS: Could you talk about what kind of feedback
you get from your show? Do you get response
from both Christians and non-Christians?

CC: What I do at the show is give common
misconceptions, that are common to both
Christians and non-Christians, so lot of the
feedback on the show is something to the
effect of “You know, I’ve never really real-
ized that before,” and a lot of these things are
just common cultural myths about God. I
approach the subject with comedy...froman
emotional as much as an intellectual aspect.

CS: Could you give a little sketch on how you
became a Christian and your background in
Christianity?

CC: Yeah. I was raised ina Christian envi-
ronment. My parents were both Christians,
and it really sort of nurtured in faith as I was
growing up. Probably about twenty years
ago, I’m thirty seven, the relationship with

He may not look like anybody you'd recognize, but Curt Cloniger may just go Straight to Your Heart

god really made sense to me. I knew a lot of
stuff about Him, but didn’t know the inten-
sity of what it meant to really have a rela-
tionship with God. And that is still develop-
ing, real intensely. So I was raised in an
environment where I was taught the truth of
Christianity, and the working out of itin my
life has really come to pass in the last fifteen
or twenty years. And in lots of new ways. In
the last couple of years I learned what it
means to live in the grace of God, and what
it means is how much God really likes me.
And he does. I really think so.

CS: How about people who have influenced
you? Who did you look up to when you were
starting out?

CC: A lot of people compare, especially
the show I’m doing, the Godviews show,
and my style in that show, to Robin Williams,
so I don’t know if he’s influenced me or not,
but apparently something’s rubbed off of
his performance style into my show. I have
seen several different one-man theatre pre-
sentations that really stirred me, in terms of
saying what could be done ina one-man pre-
sentation, like James Whitworth, who did a
one-man show called “The Leper Priest of
Malachai” (?). In terms of my spiritual life a

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whole bunch of different authors and writ-
ers really had an influence on me: contem-
porary writers besides the Bible—C.S. Lewis,
and a guy named Walter Langrin, a guy
named Frederick Beatner. Those are prob-
ably three of the authors that have really
stirred me.

CS: You mentioned earlier that you'd been
performing one-man theatre for nine years. In
that time, whom have you appeared with that we

would recognize?

CC: I’ve been on programs with a lot of
Christian artists, like Amy Grant, Wayne
Watson, people like that, but I haven’t really
performed with them, I’ve just shared the
stage with them at an event.

CS: Well, that’s about all I need to know.
Thanks very much, Curt. See you on Friday.

CC: Thanks, Carla.

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Page 12 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Locally-writ Bodkin is laughfull

The Maltese Bodkin

at the Chinook Theatre

Thursday, Saturday and Sunday only
and then that's it

by Greg Sowak

Saturday night, I entered the Chinook
Theatre to see David Belke’s The Maltese
Bodkin with high expectations. After all, this
is the production that played to sold out
houses at the Fringe and After Fringe, and
made critics proclaim “Bodkin bestat Fringe”
and “Destined to be a cult classic. My ex-
pectations were not disappointed.

To begin with, the premise of the play is,
initself, enough to be funny. Birnham Wood
(William Davidson) is a Film Noir style
gumshoe—complete with trench-coat, fe-
dora and Jack Daniels—working in the un-
likely setting of London, c. 1605. Wood is
hired by Viola (Karen Twa) to find her
missing brother, Sebastian, and is dragged
into a sordid Shakespearean underworld
where, among other things, he becomes in-
volved in avenging his partner’s death and
discovering the meaning of a coveted jew-
elled dagger, the Maltese Bodkin. Of course,
in typical gumshoe style, Wood ultimately
“cracks” the case, though the road to reso-
lution is one hell of a Shakespearean roller
coaster ride.

But, what really makes this screwball plot
come alive are the top notch performances
offered by ,most of the players. William
Davidson is brilliant as the straight faced,
straight talking Wood: “Oh no...more
frigging Italians.” And, Michael Charrois,
who plays an assortment of Shakespeare’s
characters including Mercutio, Puck and
Rosenkrantz, especially shines as the sar-
donic Duke of Gloucester: “Watch me limp..I
know pathetic, and this is a pathetic limp.”
Inaddition, Nathan Fillion playsanobleand
bright Donalbane, as well as a properly be-
wildered Guildenstern, and Glenn Nelson is
hilarious as the lazy and drunken Sir John
Falstaff.

Withsucha melange of characters—Belke
has taken some of the best froma wide range
of Shakespeare, including Hamlet, MacBeth,
Richard III, Romeo and Juliet—one might
think that this would be a difficult play to
follow. Admittedly, at times it is. In fact, you
should really be on your Shakespearean toes.
However, none of the allusions, no matter
how obscure, are enough to take away from
the viewing pleasure and comedy that this
production offers. For example, there are
dozens of up to date Shakespearean puns:
“You shouldn't be so knotty, Wood”...and
my favorite: “Am I not a silent Knight, as
wellasa holy Knight?” Also, things are kept
lively through the bar room brawls at the
Boar’s Head, and. grave yard encounters
where gunslinging gumshoe meets sword
swinging thug.

This is definitely a fresh approach to the-
atre. And, what makes it especially out-
standing is the fact that it works so well.
David Belke has without a doubt hit on
something, and director Patricia Stiles has
found the right cast to make it some alive.
Let’s hope Birnam Wood has as much suc-
cess in New Orleans as he had in London.

at R.A.T.T. october 02

Bear Rodeo spills joy

BEAR COUNTRY

Blue Rodeo at the Butterdome

with Steve McGarrett’s Hair & State of
Affairs

September 21

by Rico Suave

Alcohol is a necessary evil. To find one’s
inner self throughimbibing spirits is to know
true happiness... That’s what Bear Country
(read Beer Country) is for. At least that’s my
story, and I’m sticking to it.

Every year since the dawn of time, the
men from Delta Kappa Epsilon (Dekes)
throw one hell of a party. In recent years, it's
been held at the Butterdome, but one major
problem with having a band play there is
that there tends to be a lot of resonance from
the south wall, across from the stage. Any
notes that are either quite high or quite low
will bounce off the wall & if your upstairs in
the Butterdome, you’ll get an echo effect
which really kills the music. This was espe-
cially true at last week’s WOW (Week of
Welcome) dance, which featured the Grapes
of Wrath. This problem didn’t plague Blue
Rodeo though, as the back of the stage was
covered with a huge tarp, which had Casino
written in one corner. On the other side of
the Dome, there was also some banners
hanging from the catwalks to absorb the
noise; cramming a few thousand people on
the floor doesn’t hurt either.

The past few Bear Countrys have featured
TPOH, Bootsauce, T-Pau, Colin James, the
Blasters, Tim Fehan, Harlequin, and the list
goes on (if you go back far enough, Gino
Vanelli’s name comes up in the mid 70's).
State of Affairs & Blue Rodeo are now on the
list, and they put on a great performance.
Steve McGarrett’s Hair played as the first
band last year, and were brought back for
another amazing job. This is one of the best
cover bands, rating with the Blue Meanies or
Doc Holiday (Doc Holiday did a wicked
show at Geerfest Sept. 20 at the Dinwoodie

Lounge). Steve McGarrett’s Hair performed
their usual repertoire of Rolling Stones,
Credence Clearwater Revival, and other
party tunes. Their performance of Paint it
Black ranks with the Stones (Doc Holiday’s
version ain’t too shabby either).

The last time Blue Rodeo played in
Edmonton wasat the Dinwoodie Lounge, in
the Students’ Union Building to a sold out
crowd of 620. This time, there was a sold out
performance to 3250 people.

Front men Greg Keelor and Jim Cuddy
took turns on vocals, with Bobby Wiseman
on keyboards, Bazil Donovan on bass, and
Mark French, the new drummer who joined
the band in time to record Casino. Mark
French replaced Cleave Anderson.

The third Blue Rodeo album to date is
Casino, released last year. It follows up
Diamond Mine, and their extremely suc-
cessful debut, Outskirts. Unfortunately, the
band chose to play out most of Casino, which
hasn’t made it as big as the first two albums.
They did, however, manage to pluga couple
of their more popular tunes, like Try and
Love and Understanding, and the crowd
responded in turn by singing along to ‘em.

The best song for the evening... Diamond
Mine. It, along with the rest of the perfor-
mance sounded as good as the album ver-
sions, which is quite a difficult feat, unless
you use a lot of sampling... Blue Rodeo
doesn’t sample.

There were very few flaws during the
entire night; with bands, bar, security, or the
door, and Vitor Marciano of Delta Kappa
Epsilon passes on his thanks to all the vol-
unteers, without whose help Bear Country
would not have happened. He also would
like to let people know that the Dekes will be
making a donation to the Hazeldean Boys &
Girls Clubs of Edmonton, and UofA Ath-
letics... fraternities aren’t all bad, not even
the Dekes.

THE END...

Noon-hour show is no
small potatoes for ESO

Edmonton Symphony Orchestra
Horowitz Theatre
September 24

By D.J. Lindsay Dodd

One word describes the Tuesday per-
formance of the Edmonton Symphony
Orchestra—SOLID. The small audience
at the Horowitz Theatre was treated to a
program of substantial orchestral works,
unlike the popular fluff presented last
year. Under the direction of Music Director
Uri Meyer, a casually dressed and relaxed
orchestra performed with style and en-
thusiasm. There was an honest passion
within the orchestra which is sometimes
absent at their concerts. Although they
had to play under impossible lighting
conditions and marginal acoustics, the
intimacy between musicians and audi-
ence was magic.

To promote the Symphony’s upcoming
Mozart Mania Festival (celebrating the bi-
centennial of the composer’s death), the
first half of the concert was dedicated
entirely to Mozart’s works. The show
opened with the finest piece ever written
for strings, the overture to The Marriage
of Figaro. The audience loved it. Enthu-
siastic smiles all around. Then a surprise.
The second-most-popular of Mozart's
symphonies was up next. But not just a
movement or two. ALL OF IT! Uri Meyer
gave an audience unfamiliar with classi-
cal music a chance to experience the
shifting moods of a symphony from start
to finish. Marvelous! Bravo! DON’T CLAP
BETWEEN MOVEMENTS!

Many in the audience were experienc-
ing asymphony concert for the first time.
The intimacy of the room provided an

excellent opportunity for new listeners to
feel the power of a full symphony orchestra.
Even experienced listeners could find previ-
ously-unheard nuances in Mozart’s music.
None left disappointed.

After the intermission, and free tickets for
everyone to Friday’s performance at the
Jubilee, there was another surprise.
Stravinsky. No orchestra of sound mind and
body would program Stravinsky in a pro-
motional concert. But they did and it was
wonderful. Most people find contemporary
classical music a chore to listen to but the
Circus Polka was an enjoyable risk. The
work was commissioned by the Ringling
Bros. Circus for a ballet of 50 elephants. This
gave the music a certain character, lyrical
but with a hiccup. The Slavonic Dances of
Dvorak and the Light Cavalry Overture by
Suppé closed the concert.

It is unfortunate that more people were
notable to enjoy this solid concert. The show
was scheduled for noon on Tuesday, thus
forcing some students to miss two classes. In
future I hope that organizers will schedule
the event during one class block. Then per-
haps more students will discover the world
of symphonic fireworks. Until then...Bravo!

BALLET from p.10

HonGoh, who will play Valencienne, smiles
enthusiastically when speaking of the pro-
duction “The ballet is a visual delicacy—it’s
breathtaking.”

Tickets are available for students 2 for 1 at
the Information Center in the Students’
Union Building.

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| AM A REGISTERED STUDENT AT:

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spe ir Wee ae wei oes ee a Sm er Re ORE A. rR, I A th am

Page 14 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Plains celebrates ifs own video talent at Metro

Plains Canada Film and Video Confer-
ence

Metro Cinema

September 19-21

by Stephen Notley

Plains film and video conference? What?
Film and video from the prairies? The mind
reels. Who would would waste time, much
less money, on an exhibition of films made
inthe prairie provinces? What could be more
boring than movies about wheat fields and
planar geography?

Most local filmmakers sigh when they
hear this; it’s all too easy to plunk all prairie
films firmly into the “boots, barns and bo-
vines” category. Never mind that nobody’s
more tired of boring film and video than the
people that actually work in the field. God
knows they’ve seen enough of it. Never
mind that there’s no more reason that mov-
ies made in Alberta have to be about barns
than movies made in California have to be
about beaches. If it’s made in the prairies it’s
gotta bea whole lotta dull, right? Wrong. It’s
this common misconception about prairie
filmmaking that makes it so difficult for
local filmmakers to get any kind of recog-
nition.

The Plains Canada Film and Video con-
ference last Thursday through Saturday gave
prairie film and video makers the chance to
- publicly showcase some distinctly atypical
work, as well as the opportunity to drink
heavily and compare ideas.

Unfortunately, illness prevented me from
seeing the screenings on Friday and Satur-
day, butI did catch the Thursday screenings.
This included the Edmonton offerings as
well as those from Winnipeg, and I was
treated to some wonderful off-the-wall film
and video, with nota single cow to beseenin
any of them.

Fastlane
David Heide.
Now, I’veseen this one more thana couple

of times, and I still love it. Producer-director
David Heide uses a variety of special effects
like pixelation, stop-animation and
undercranking to produce a world in the
fast lane. The first minute or so reminds one
of those PBS specials of the speeded-up ebb
and flow of a city, but it’s backdrop for the
wonderful story ofa two people trying to get
together across the lethally accelerated street.
Watching the two protagonists saunter down
the street as passsersby blast by them in a
blur is wonderful. Heide has wonderful
comic timing, so there’s not a moment of
slack in this crisp seven minute film. As well,
the music is eminently cool.

I Never Get Home

Ken Berry.

A very stark experimental piece, J Never
Get Home is comprised mostly of high-angle
shots of a busy street in such high contrast
that the figures look more like shadows than
people. This is mixed with jarring cuts of a
hulking shadow that leaps into the frame
and out again seemingly at random, as well
as what looks like smears of ink across the
frame. Very wierd. There’s a very threaten-
ing feel to this piece, that leaves one unsettled
even though its only 2 minutes long.

Senescence

Bill Hornecker.

I liked this one last year in my article on
the Local Heroes film festival, and my ap-
preciation ofit hasn’t dimmed in the interim.
Senescence has a slow measured pace to it
that mirrors its story of the seeming inter-
minable experience of age. The performance
is theatrical and mannered without being
overblown and unconvincing. Quite an ex-
cellent little film, really.

Scenes from The Making of Heaven and Earth

Geoff Bailey.

The problem is, how do you separate the
quality of the documentary from the quality
of the film the documentary is about? |

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suppose the success of the documentary is
that it really makes one want to see the film,
in this case the huge Japanese epic Heavenand
Earth, parts of which were shot here in
Alberta. Bailey deftly draws a parallel be-
tween the momentous preparations for
shooting and the momentous preparations
for battle, and it’s appealing to the film
devotee and the regualar filmgoer alike.

Home Movies

Tom Bernier.

Everything I’d heard about this film sug-
gested a screwy little comedy piece, sol was
flattened by what turned out to be a haunt-
ing picture of despair and lonliness. Brutal
in its 31/2 minutes, Home Movies is a snap-
shot of memories of things lost. Worthy of
special noteis thescore by Alan Watamaniuk,
whichis simple and elegant and is easily half
responsible for the success of the film.

Meester V Sells A Feelm

Patrick Higgins.

Patrick Higgins’ video work can perhaps
be described as a sort of free-verse perfor-
mance art edit omlette, which doesn’t really
say anything but it’s the best I can do. Cre-
ated as a video pitch for a larger project
called Morbus Du, it features the Europan/
Italian film magnate Meester V, played by
Higgins, and his attempts to secure funding.
Essentially a monolgue delivered under
constantly shifting lights that burn out vir-
tually all features, Meester V Sells a Feelmisa
trip into wierdness that strolls determinedly
down the line between experimental in-
comprehensibility and “normal” comedy.

The Serpent Brain

Jack Butler.

Whereas I Never Get Home is experimental
ina ‘traditional’ sense, ie. it’s comprised ofa
series of images that don’t make immediate
narrative or documentary sense, The Serpent
Brain is experimental ina rather odder way.
The image is just of almost-blackness with

occasional flashbulb glimpses of something
we can’t really discern, while the audio is a
official-sounding voice-over about the me-
dulla oblongata (the serpent brain of the
title) and its relationship to the rest of the
human brain. Rather more succesful than
many experimental films, I found, because
the combination of faintly creepy monologue
with flashes of something I can’t quite see
becomes distinctly unnerving, and we start
to see things in the flashes that we might
prefer not to.

Sam Spade the Existential Detective

Alethea Lahofer.

Hmmm. Basically the story of a tuxedoed
detective that would rather spend his time
pondering choices and saying things like
“Hearing knocking is just another mode of
not hearing knocking” than actually being
so gauche as to actually solve a crime. The
odd thing is that it is composed entirely of
rather crudely animated computer drawings
that look like they were made on an IBM. To
be perfectly honest, I can’t see what the
computeranimation had to do withanything,
so it started to distract me from what was
otherwise quite a droll little bit of cerebral
humour.

Totentanz: the Dance of Death

Sharon Alward.

This is a very disturbing piece; the word
‘obscene’ springs to mind, if I could use it in
a positive way without diluting its meaning.
Morea recording of performance art thana
regular video, it depicts a woman wearing a
beautiful white gown trying to clean up a
room splattered with blood. The soulful
choral music in the background lends an
unnatural air to the thing, as do the intercut
shots of lovers embracing. Apparently it
was about women and AIDS; I didn’t see
any of that explicitly in the piece, but there
was a lot of pain and horror and defilement.
Hard to watch but worth it.

qudiopile

Slow, heavy

Metallica
Metallica
Elektra

Iwas wandering arounda Grande Prairie
mall, hoping to purchase a tatting shuttle,
when I stumbled upon a rather pristine
looking music store which displayed big
big signs proclaiming, no, shouting, “New
Metallica album! Now in stock!!”

Metallica. Aren’t they the patriots of that
tired genre, heavy metal? Yeah, I remem-
ber them, and unless you had your nose up
your butt in high school, you probably do
to. If you wore black T-shirts and denims,
you probably listened to them as well. (If
your T-shirts and denims were baggy, it
was probably the Smiths you indulged in.
Don’t confuse the Smiths with Metallica.)

Yeah, Metallica were cool, but I thought
“After ...And Justice For All, do I really want
to bore myself with another technically
perfect, but sort of boring metal album?
Their first three cracks were kickass, but
Justice was one for the critics and die hard
fans. That's it.

That evening, I yanked my Morrissey
disc out of my CD player, snapped it (it
seemed only fitting), and put in that heavy
looking eponymously titled work by the
band that opened the doors for virtually
every speed metal/thrash group that exists
today.

The first impression you get is not even
from the music. It’s the sound, namely the
best mix you can hear onany contemporary
album today. Completely digital, the disc
displays recording technology at its best.

Saving the best for last, let’s talk about
the music. Oh joy, it’s heavy. And good, It

- grabs you around the ribcage and gives ita
lethal s Z Jl leave you in a slob-
quesze that) "‘Seadae

bering, grinning stupor. No, really, it’s that
good. Producer Bob Rock (who, ironically
enough, produced Bon Jovi's “Slippery
When Wet”) has squeezed out potential that
I never believed this band possessed. Singer
James Hetfield has improved his vocal range
by leaps and bounds, obvious on “The
Unforgiven”, and a soon to be classic ballad,
“Nothing Else Matters”. Ballad? Hell, yeah!
It’s somewhere in that hour plus of great
tuneage. Other tracks to listen to are “Sad
But True”, “Wherever I May Roam” and the
first single, “Enter Sandman”. One should
listen to “Don’t Tread On Me”, if only, be-
cause the Rolling Stone discredited for
clichéd, overemotional reasons (or did they
have to make up the only bad thing they
could say about this album?)

These songs are not as fast and furious as
on the first three albums, nor as mechanical
sounding as the last. This is the first Metallica
album to emphasizea slower, heavier,sound,
with more inflective rhythm guitars, and
vocals that come the closest to singing, that
this band has ever offered. Add Metallica to
your collection. It’s more than just great
heavy metal, it’s great rock and roll.

Terry Williams

sme. “if, ESSER

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ Page 15

Ed's eggs

Life of a Kid in the Ghetto
Ed O.G. & da Bulldogs
Mercury/Polygram

Rap is like listening to someone in the
park, standing on a soapbox and spouting
off opinions on life, the universe, and ev-
erything. You don’t have to agree with ev-
erything that person says, but at least you
gain some insight into how that person feels
about certain issues. You learn a little bit
more on how ignorant you and your fellow
human beings are. Well, the preaching I was
subjected to by Ed O.G. & da Bulldogs was
exactly that kind of experience.

The first thing you learn from Ed
(Bostonian Edward Anderson) and his
Bulldogs’ songs is that they are pretentious,
Afrocentric, sexist and poor spellers (and
proud of it). Let’s start with their names, as
they will give you an idea on what these
guys are all about. “Ed O.G.” stands for
Every Day, Other Girls. The Bulldogs (Black
United Leaders Living Directly on Groovin’
Sounds) have the jonesy handles of T-Nyne,
Smooth Ice Gee, DJ Cruz, Black, Bulletproof
Brett, Slim Dog, Shawn Booker, Lorenzo,
Bruzer, Mo, Tyrone, Money 1,MK. Diamond,
and Joe “with the funky ass beats”.

Now on to the songs, which usually reek
either of self-righteous indignation or of
testosterone. Some of the socially conscious
songs (like “I’m Different”,and “Life of a
Kid in the Ghetto” are formulaic but passable,
and “Speak Upon It” evenscoredsome points
with me when griping about the double
standard in Boston’s handling of the Charles
Stuart case (you remember, the fellow who
iced his wife and claimed that a black man
did it). But then Ed goes on to wish fora gun
(yeah, that’s right, solve society’s problems
by becoming a problem)—and then the rest
of the song degenerates into paranoia about
racist symbols on the dollar bill and ends
with the overdone assertion that it was we
Blacks and not you evil white oppressors
who built the pyramids—yawn. Now ladmit
thatevenI (being a member of the oppressed
black underclass and all) went through the
sameangry “I’ma victim’ and “kill Whitey”
stage—but really! Even worse, if there’s one

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thing Ican’tstand is someone whining about
Whitey’s oppression and then dumping on
women. Half of this album is dedicated to
telling us how many he’s had and left behind
(try “Feel Like a Nut”), and how much they
loved it (“She Said It Was Great”), ad
nauseum, inthe most outrageous terms. Then
he’s got the nerve to tell other brothers to be
responsible in “Be a Father to Your Child”
(he should know, he’s probably got dozens
of kids by now), and even worse, the gall to
complain about women’s attitudes in “Gotta
Have Money”. What a hypocrite. As you
music fans have probably figured out by
now, I regard this album as classic R&B—
rap and bullshit. Of course, now I guess I
should get off of my soapbox.
Andy Phillpotts

Dave's dope

Hard Travellin’
Dave Sharp
I.R.S Records

Hard Travellin’ is Dave Sharp's solo debut.
Sharp was a member of the Welsh band The
Alarm, which my friend Mick Chevalier
describes as a ripoff of the Clash. However,
I think Sharp stands out as an astute
folksinger heavily influenced by Bob Dylan.

This albumis obviously drawn by Sharp’s
origins, as he speaks of industrial blight and
the facts of life in Britain. You get the im-
pression that Sharp draws from close to the
heart the images he weaves in his songs.

On the electric side, you notice right away
that Dylan has to be one of his influences,
witha dash of Neil young thrown inas well.
You get seared by Sharp’s stinging indict-
ments of society and its foibles. “In the City”
speaks of urban blight and the struggle to
survive within this environment. The rest of
the songs on this side didn’t impress me
much.

There’s evidence of a little optimism laced
in this activist music on the acoustic side of
the album. “Big Road Blue” says that life
sucks alot but it’s not that bad. Hardship is
part of life and it makes the good things that

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much better.

Sharp speaks in “Joey the Jone” of an
innocent bystander shot dead in the crossfire
ofa NewJersey policeshooting. It’sastinging
indictment of the general attitude towards
poverty and that we basically could give a
damn about the poor.

You won't be disappointed with this al-
bum. What's so rare is that it causes us to
contemplate our society since we can iden-
tify with experiences similar to Sharp’s. He
exposes man’s foibles for the festering scabs
they are. You'll probably need to take a cold
shower after listening to this. Buy itanyway.

Eamonn Muldowney

Lush tracks

Rooms In My Fatha’s House
VINX
(Pangea/IRS Records)

He has blue hair, sings like he means it,
and is as diverse as night and day. His name
is Vinx, and his first album with Pangea/
IRS, Rooms In My Fatha’s House, is a brilliant
mixture of musical styles and primalenergy.

From the first track, “Tell My Feet’, to the
closing notes of “A Little Bit More”, Vinx
sways between ska, rock, funk, jazz, world
beat, soul, and reggae with deft witand skill.
Rather than jam the tracks with dense walls
of sound, the arrangements are sparse and
centre exclusively around Vinx’s amazing
voice. The result is a surprisingly lush ambi-
ence (even the acapella “I'll Give My All To
You” shows a lot of...well...balls).

It’salso worth noting the impressive list of
guests on this album, including Branford
Marsalis, Herbie Hancock, Taj Mahal, and
Sting (who discovered Vinx and is also a
producer on this project). Rather than domi-
nate the work with their talent, they take a
back seat to the passionate talent of Vinx.
Rooms In My Fatha’s House is good for dates,
cozy moments and wild, sweaty, condom-
snapping occasions. However, if you like
diversity in your music, it’s a good buy, too.

David Johnston.

These are

good-eatin
brains

Scatterbrain
Here Comes Trouble
CBS

These guys are just plain weird. Generally
the music is like a mix of heavy metal and
bad drugs. This odd concoction does fit their
music quite well, with tunes such as “Ear
Ache My Eye” originally by Cheech & Chong
and the highlight of the album “Don’t Call
Me Dude” a different musical approach is
certainly required.

Perhaps the most surprising aspect of the
band is that they actually have talent. Bassist
Guy Brogna is especially impressive, turn-
ing out some solos that would make Getty
Lee proud. The singing is left up to Tommy
Christ who leans more toward talking then
singing giving the vocals a rap sound at
times.

Thealbum contains quitea variety ofsongs
including Sonata #3 by Mozart although
Scatterbrain’s versionisa little different than
the original. The group seems to enjoy other
bands work and incorporate it into their
own songs. In “Down With the Ship” they
borrow pieces from Metallica, Hendrix, ZZ
Top, Van Halen, and many others. Certainly,
the most interesting piece is the last song on
the album “Drunken Milkman”. It has a
surreal quality about it somewhat reminis-
cent of The Doors and would make a fasci-
nating drinking and driving commercial.

Scatterbrain is most certainly not your
average rock band, so if anything more off
the wall than Hall & Oates scares you, steer
clear of these guys or your likely to have
nightmares for weeks to come. On the other
hand, if you're looking for something alittle,
no make that a lot, different then take a walk
over to the alternative section and grab a
copy of Scatterbrain.

Jason Weickert

$2.25 Movies

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1/2 hour prior to Spann’

by Dan Carle

The University of Alberta Golden
Bears’ football club is looking for its
first win of the Canada West Con-
ference season 7 p.m. Saturday night
at Clarke Stadium against the Uni-
versity of Saskatchewan Huskies.

Sports

Sports Editor: Todd Saelhof, 492-5068

Grid Bears face Cup Champs

Winless Alberta footballers host CIAU Champion Saskatchewan Huskies

This game could be one of the
Bears’ toughest as the Huskies are
ranked number one in Canada fol-
lowing the squads’ one point win
last week over the second best team
in the nation, the UBC
Thunderbirds. The Huskies are

Golden Bear safety Dwight Kosolofski strikes fear into opposing players’ hearts at will.

unbeaten in three starts.

The Bears have had problems
spreading the ball around on of-
fencein their first three games which
is the one factor that might hurt the
team against Saskatchewan’s de-
fence. Bears’ Dave Basisty hopes,

The Bears, including Koslofski, cornerback Kevin Hurrel, and Kevin Algajer, hope to slow
up the University of Saskatchewan Huskies enough on Saturday night at Clarke Stadium
to upset the defending Vanier Cup Champions. The game will, no doubt, be a dogfight.

Clive Oshry

though, that the clubs’ offensive
woes do not present themselves
Saturday.

“There are not many receiver
drops - (dropped passes) - to at-
tempts,” Basisty said. “It’s just a
matter of getting the ball. And most
times many receivers are open, but
the quarterback just isn’t making

anything on their mind to talkabout
it,” Wilkinson said.

The Bears have had the opportu-
nity to work in practice over the last
week on the offence, without the
worry of an upcoming game as the
squad hada byeinthe Canada West
schedule. In that time, the Bears
offence scrimmaged with the de-

Huskies vs Golden Bears
7 p.m. Saturday September 28
Clarke Stadium
6:50 p.m. (CJSR) FM-88

the right read.”

Rob Taylor will start at quarter-
back for the Bears. Head coach Tom
Wilkinson says he will be more
flexible in his quarterback selection
against Saskatchewan, and if Tay-
lor is moving the offence, then he
willstart the second half. The Bears’
coach was criticized for pulling the
third year pivot in their last game
against Calgary.

Wilkinson points out that, inspite
of the Bears record and debate over
who plays at quarterback, the atti-
tude of the players has not changed.

“I’m sure that underneath (the
players have) got some questions
(but) it’s important for us to stay
together as a team, and if there is

fence, something that Wilkinson
believes gives confidence to both
sets of players.

“T think our defence is as good as
anybody’s in Canada,” Wilkinson
said. “By the offence improving
against them (during the scrim-
mage), I think it means that we can
go out this Saturday and have the
opportunity to do something
against Saskatchewan.”

The Huskies, winners of the
Vanier Cup in 1990, did not lose
many veteran players to graduation
in the off-season. They have the
same starting quarterback, David
Earl, and the same backfield, full-
back Mark Poelzer and halfback
Duane Dmytrshyn, as last season.

Like Dorothy in the Wizard of
Oz, Tom Wilkinson feels there’s no
place like home.

And fortunately for Wilkinson,
he doesn’t need ruby slippers to
get there. Not that they would fit
onthe rotund coach of the Golden
Bears anyways.

Saturday night Wilkinson and
the football Bears will take over
Clarke Stadium in search of their
first win of the 1991 Canada West
season.

It was on this field that
Wilkinson played six seasons.
Here he had some of his best
games as the quarterback of the
Edmonton Eskimos.

Wilkinson was not the most
fluid of passers, but with players
like Don Warrington, Jim Ger-
many, and Bill Stevenson around
to help out on offence, and de-
fensive wonders like Ron Estay,
Dave Fennell, and Joe Hollimon,
he really did not need an incred-

ible arm to be a good quarterback.

All he needed was brains, some-
thing that was never in short sup-
ply for Wilkinson.

Now, as coach of the Golden
Bears, Wilkinson finds that his
brains are working overtime.

Where before there was a cast of
thousands to make the Good Ship
Eskimos sail or sink, there is now
only eight who must salvage the
Golden Bears. Wilkinson and the
Bears assistant coaches - five of
whom played with Wilkinson on
the Eskimos back in the formative
years of their careers - have been
given the task of saving football at
the University of Alberta.

And not only must they save
football, but save face as well. A
Losing record over many seasons
tends to look bad in the books.

The Bears are 0-3 - everyone
knows that - but the coachis hopeful
that some Clarke Stadium magic
will rub off on the Bears this week-

BORE LAS hes eae) Se. OO Ses!
= =

= Noplace
z| like home'

end.

“The butterflies are there, and
you want to do your best for that
particular night, and hopefully your
best will enable you to win.”

The Bears may be some years
away from stardom, but Wilkinson
says there is no better crew of indi-
viduals to coach. The right attitude
and desire in the players makes for
extra nervousness on the part of the
coaches. They did not want to screw
upagame through bad calls because
then they will hurt those for whom
the game is there - the players.

Helping both the coaches and
players will be the Old Stadium,
which is an intimate structure. The
seats are practically right on the
field, and Wilkinson says that no
seat is a bad seat.

It is the hope of the players and
coaches that many of those seats
will be filled come Saturday.

After all, win or lose, there is
really no place like home.

Riley Klassen brings down to

carrier. The Clarke carpet was one which Golden Bear
-head coach Tom Wilkinson

called home for six years.

Rachel Sanders

the Clarke turf a Calgary

Pa cae Gat ae

Pe ee ee ere ers ee ee

sss Se

se eS

J Pe ee ek Se ee ee Oe ee el
sf Ss Ss

or ee Te

ee ee
_~-- tae Oo

oN ak tae ek eee Som Se
Ter fa tf tao eS

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ Page 17

Bears Toon-ed up for Dawgs

Alberta soccer squad lead Canada West heading into Saskatchewan

by Todd Saelhof

Victory.

It resembles closely Len
Vickery’s name, head coach of the
University of Alberta Golden Bear
soccer team. And, ironically
enough, after an opening Canada
West Conference weekend down
south, it is exactly the word that
stands out in the 1991 Golden Bear
kick record.

Two victories in two seasonal
starts have Vickery and the Bears
wallowing in the Canada West
Conference top spot. They hope to
sit as high and as comfortable fol-
lowing this Saturday’s tiltin ‘Toon
town, as the Bears head west for a
single match against the University
of Saskatchewan Huskies.

“Before last weekend, we maybe
went (into a three game road trip)
with a bit of apprehension,”
Vickery said. “But now we’re in
the enviable position having al-
ready wonall four points. We know
that it’s good for us.”

Vickery also knows that being
atop the conference this early in
the year does not make them
champions. It does, however, have
the Bears perched at number five
in thenation’s kick squad rankings,
thanks in most part to a hard-
working team effort.

“Definitely we're looking for a
good performance first,anda good

result second,” Vickery said. “We
look to get the performance right,
similar to the performance we had
in Calgary.”

Indeed, last Saturday’s season
opener down Cowtown way pitted
the Bears against the highly touted
Calgary Dinosaurs. The affair saw
Alberta dominate play on route to
a 3-1 triumph. One day later, the
Lethbridge Pronghorns were vic-
timized by the Bears 1-0.

In the meantime, the Huskies,

the Bears’ travelling partners, tied
up both squads. And with that in
mind, the Alberta head kick coach
is unsure of what to expect from
this weekend’s foes.

“We're not quite sure (about
Saskatchewan),” Vickery said.
“They’re coming off ofan unbeaten
weekend and out to work on suc-
cess. They should provide some
stiff opposition.

“We're going to have to take to
the play by putting some pressure

on them,” Vickery added.
Unfortunately for the Bears,
some pressure might be on their
tough defence which has not yet
allowed a goal in ’91. Accompa-
nying them on the road to Saska-
toon is fullback and team captain
Jim Laughlin who will sit
Saturday’s contest because of a
nagging knee injury. The loss of
the veteran’s experience will be
sorely missed, but his leadership
on the sidelines could well have

Kick Pandas hungry for

by Kelly Ardnt

“You can’t give them any room.
They are a young team which
doesn’t stop,” said fourth year
University of Alberta soccer player
Janine Wood in describing the
Panda’s competition for this
Saturday’s game - the University
of Saskatchewan Huskiettes.

Wood understands the impor-
tance of Saturday’s game. The
Pandas have to win the contest if
they wish to get out of the Canada
West Conference. Even though
Alberta has never lost to the
Huskiettes in seasonal play, this
game is not an automatic two
points.

“Wecan’t take Saskatchewan for

granted,” Wood said. “They have
several younger players coming
from the under-18 provincial team.
This is the best team I have ever
seen them field.”

And the Huskiettes are showing
that they area team to be reckoned
with. Last weekend they beat the
University of Calgary Dinosaurs
after the Dinos had beaten the
Pandas.

“If Saskatchewan can do it to the
Dinos, they can do it to us,” said
Panda head coach Tracy David.

The ironic side to this is that if
Saskatchewan would not have beat
Calgary, the Pandas season would
be over. David understands what
the Huskiettes did for Alberta, but

can only thank them.

“T would like to do Saskatchewan
a favor to repay them for the huge
one they did for us, but unfortu-
nately there is too much on the line
in Saturday’s game,” David said.

So the team that helped Alberta,
is going to have to help themagain.
This time, however, the Huskiettes
must lose.

While the Pandas are wary and
not over-confident, they know they
have the ability to win the game.
The team feels thatif they can work
for the full 90 minutes and finish
their chances, they will be suc-
cessful. Play in the last half against
the Lethbridge Lady Pronghorns
last weekend wasa boost for them.

impact on the team anyways.

“He’s that kind of a person,”
Vickery said. “He'll lead from off
the field.”

On the field replacing Laughlin
is Curtis Vos who Vickery consid-
ers to bea valuable asset in seasons
to come.

“We have high hopes for (Vos)
in future years. This weekend will
be good experience for him.”

And hopefully another good
victory for the Bears.

Huskies

They played solid, and up to their
potential.

But unfortunately, due to the
Pandas weak opening weekend,
they will have to look for the other
teams in the conference to help
them out, just as Saskatchewan did
last weekend. Inother Canada West
play, the University of British Co-
lumbia Lady Thunderbirds takeon
the Dinos. David and the Pandas
are optimistic about this outcome.

“Calgary has never beaten UBC
in Canada West Conference play.”

With all of this in mind, the Pan-
das head off to Saskatchewan with
definite goals; to play the way they
can and to gain ground in the
Canada West.

October 1 and = 1991 |
8:00 PM

Horowitz Thats SUB

-Tickets available at all BASS outlets (Charge-by-phone: 451-8000),
and Info Booths on Campus (HUB, CAB, SUB) salts

| --. Info: 492-4764
‘ \ with the assistance et Alberta

OCT
3-5

From Vancouver

“Roots

Do you wanna be a face in the crowd? Come out for Turkey Trot Run/Walk ’91 on Sat,
Oct. 5 at 10:30 a.m. Entry deadline is Wed, Oct. 2 at 5 p.m. A $5 entry fee includes free
t-shirt and chances at many prizes including $1,000 in turkeys from Save-On Foods.

SEPT
26-28

From Toronto

“The Corn

Councit Or REsIDentTs' ASSOCIATIONS
PRESENTS:

GLEN STACE

AND GUESTS
BLIND
MAN'S

ZOO

Bumites o
wag MUS

IF YOU DRINK,
DON'T DRIVE.

WEEKEND CABARETS!
TICKETS: HUB, SUB, CAB
INFO BOOTHS, SU Records,
Jubilee Box Office, and
presenting club members
INFO: 492-2048

OCT
10-12

From Toronto
“King
”| Apparatus” |

Saturday October 5
Dinwoodie Lounge
Doors: 8:30 pm

NORTH POWER PLANT

Directly behind
Dentistry/Pharmacy

RESTAURANT
BAR

Tickets $7.50 advance
or $6.00 C.O.R.A.
Members

New Hours: 8:30 PM 10 1:00 AM
No Minors Age LD. Required

Page 18 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Atul

Khullar

Somewhere, in the heartland
of baseball (you know, an exotic
locale like the middle of Iowa or
something like that), there is a
farmer confessing his sins. . .

“ Father?”

“Yes, my son.”

“ Forgive me, because I have com-
mitted a most grievous sin.”

“ What, you are an honest, hard
working farmer who always comes
to church. What possible sin could
you have committed?”

eiquier, lex. de bs ze

“ Spit it out, son. It couldn't be
that bad.”

“ Father, I'ma Toronto Blue Jays’
fan.”

=-SOn,*

“Yes, Father?”

“ Get the hell outta my church.”

Ree Yeah, wellit’s tough not to
be caught in that Blue Jay allure.
Heck, they winalmostall the time,
except when it counts. And, all
those that have no choice but to
be exposed to Don Chevrier (CTV
baseball commentator) or Buck
Martinez and Jim Hughson (TSN
baseball commentators) for any
extended period of time have had
their I.Q’s lowered to the point
where being a Blue Jays’ fanactu-

ally becomes appealing.

How nice of these people, giving
all us Canadians without gaudy
satellite dishes or Pay TV a cheap
way to reduce our brain cell count
without hazardous physical side
effects. No messy needle marks on
your arm, no bother of spending
time in a rehab clinic, and some-
thing that George Bush can’t go on
a crusade to try and stop. And
anyway, isn’t anyone who chooses
to go by the name Buck just lend-
ing himself to insult by the general
public? (Hmmm, hey Martha, what
rhymes with Buck ?) However,
there are easy cheap cures to avoid
the loss of cranial matter while
watching baseball in Canada, go to
the bar to watch a game or simply
hit the mute button on your TV set.

Definitely the Blue Jays are a
great team at a world-class level,
they even learned how to bunt last
winter. Yet, it’s a pretty good bet
thatI don’t stand alone north of the
49th parallelinsaying thattheteam
and how they are portrayed as our
saviours on TSN and CTV nause-
ates me. In fact, a good two packs
of Gravol probably couldn’t cure
the urge to vomit that I and many
others suffer when the topic turns
to the Blue Jays.

Fortunately, fall has arrived. You

know, that part of the baseball sea-
son where 85 percent of the games
in the schedule don’t matter unless
one plays Sport Select.

Autumn is also is the “ Pepto-
Bismol “ for Blue Jay bashers with
upset stomachs. The final months
of almost any baseball campaign
are filled with the unabashed joy of
“The Blue Jay Choke” as Toronto
makes an annual habit of fumbling
away the A.L. East title. (In bad
years, when the Jays accidentally
stumble to their division crown,
“The Choke” is sometimes pre-
empted until the playoffs. Better
TV ratings, you know.)

You would think thatafter seven
full seasons of stocking one of the
most talented teams anywhere in
professional baseball and not even
a American League pennant to
show for it, the Jays would learn
the Heimlich manuever to stop
their incessant choking. Seven full
seasons, seven chokes of varying
degrees. Herearea few memorable
clips from “The Blew(Blue) Jay
Scrapbook”:

1985: Up three games to one in
the A.L. Championship Series
against Kansas City and leading in
the fifth inning of Game Five, some
higher power decides it would not

be good to have Canada in the
World Series. The Blue Jays then
blow the lead, the game, and the
series.

1987 (my personal favorite):
Leading a full three and one half
games over Detroit with a week to
go in the season, the Blue Jays pro-
ceed to lose their last seven games
in a row to finish two back of the
Tigers. The final three defeats came
in a series versus Detroit: 4-3, 3-2,
and 1-0. You would have to shove
a good sized aluminum bat down
your throat to achieve the same
sort of choking effect.

1990: Up fourand one half games
in Mid- July, Toronto proceeds to
lose the A.L. East title to a Boston
team who was slower than molas-
ses, hit the fewest home runs in the
American League that year, and
had six of 12 pitchers come via
waivers. There are days when
people probably wonder, “is Sa-
dism 101 a prerequisite for being a
Blue Jay fan ? “

There are many, many more but
you get the picture.

How about this year? Well,
prospects are bright for another
blunder of epic Jay proportions.
Up a full 11 and one half games
over the Boston Red Sox in mid-

The Toronto Deaad-Jays

August, the Jays now hold a
slim two game margin over the
same team just a month later.
Hell, this is one of the greatest
uprisings in Boston since the
Tea Party. |

With Devon White, Roberto
Alomar and Joe Carter all hav-
ing banner years at the plate,
the bestall-around pitching staff
in the A.L., and a defence that
plays picture-perfect (until the
8th or 9th inning), how has the
Jay crew even let Beantown into
this pennant race? Are they fol-
lowing the Otis Nixon guide to
relaxation? Or, are the Blue Jays
as solid as Montreal’s Olympic
Stadium in the clutch ?

Well, it remains to be seen as
the season winds down, but as
the vice firmly tightens around
the Blue Jays’ neck, a distinct
gagging sound can be heard
from the Hogtown vicinity.

And if Roger Clemens, Wade
Boggs, and their merry band of
mediocrity can’t pull the East
rabbit out of their cap, it’s a
pretty good bet that in the
A.L.C.S. the West champion
Minnesota Twins would be
more than happy to throttle a
shiny new Easton down the col-
lective Blue Jay windpipe.

Employment Opportunity

If you're thinking about graduating to the power
and performance of a NeXT” computer, we'd like to
help ease the cost.

Buy any NeXT CPU between August 15 and
October 31 we'll give you WordPerfect’ the premier
word processing program, SoftPC% the AT-class MS-
DOS? emulator, and Diagram! the powerful drawing
and diagramming package, for less than $350.

That's nearly $1600 worth of software. Software
you'd probably buy anyway, for less than $350.

And since Aathematica® comes free with every
NeXT machine sold on university campuses in North
America, altogether you'll be saving as much as $2100
on some of our most popular productivity cools,

And don’t forget about the revolutionary computer
these productiviry tools run on. When you graduate to

a NeXT computer you’re moving up to the one
desktop computer that can carry you through
university, graduate school, and beyond.

That's because no other desktop computer
brings such a full suite of high-performance worksta-
tion features to bear on such a wide range of rescarch,
analysis, report writing, and problem-solving tasks,

And no other desktop computer surrounds so much
performance with the easy-to-use graphical interface
(and the easy-to-live-with price) of a personal computer.

So when you purchase a NeXT computer and some
powerful software, we'll kick in enough savings to help
pay for the computer itself.

After all, if you’re bright enough to graduate early,
we wouldn't want a little thing like money to stand in
your way.

Chief Returning Officer

Application are invited for the position of Chief Returning Officer (CRO).

As CRO, the successful candidate will be responsible for:
¢ overall supervision of Students’ Union elections and referenda, in
accordance with all relevant Bylaws.
e hiring a Deputy Returning Officer and other staff, as required.
* organizing polls, ensuring adequate staffing and situating polls at
is YOu WANT TO appropriate locations across campus.
AT ea IN SE overseeing the physical ballot count.
reporting the results of elections and referenda to appropriate parties.
THE TUITION. bylaws or conduct of the election.
¢ being available to all parties during elections/referenda, at least four
e ensuring elections/referenda are conducted fairly and that balloting is
secure from tampering.

advertising relevent & the conduct of the election.
e
PTEMBER, || :
enforcing election bylaws and arbitrating disputes arising from the
hours per day.
¢ other duties as are normally required of the Chief Returning Officer.

Applicants should have a good understanding of the electoral process.
Experience in campus elections is an asset. Applicants must also be regis-
tered in at least one course in each Winter Term session, and must be full
Students' Union members.

For more information,
please contact Marc
Dumouchel, President, Rm
259 SUB, ph. 492-4236. Ap-
plications available at 259
SUB.

Save over $1200 when you buy a NeX’T'computer and select software.

SENT Cnperse tae

Term: Immediately to 30 April 1991.
Remuneration: $1,500.00+, according to schedule established 1984. °

evened SENT 8 SANT oe ord SAN Drea eremg weeteniemat 21

Application Deadline: Friday, October 4, 4 pm.

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ Page 19

Bear, Panda swim season starts

Coach Johnson focuses on strong squad for '91-92 pool campaign

by Curtis Dumonceaux

“By the looks of things, this is the
best looking group of swimmers
trying out that I have seen.”

This proclamation from Dave
Johnson, head coach of the Uni-
versity of Alberta Golden Bears’
and Pandas’ swim teams, comes
after four days of tryouts which
commenced last Thursday.

Whether or not the group will
become the best team he has seen is
yet to be determined. Certainly
Johnson would like this to happen
as he has high hopes for them this
year.

“T think that we should win a

conference title, men or women. If
not a team title, then many indi-
vidual titles,” Johnson said. “We
have the potential of being one of
the top two teams in the country
which is something I would really
like to see, and I think this year is
the time when we should take a
serious crack at doing it. Certainly
we are going to have the largest
number of CIAU qualifiers ever.”

In order to get the swimmers to
accomplish the task of being in the
top two, Johnson has imposed
stricter standards for those trying
out.

“I only want the people who re-

ally want to swim,” Johnson ex-
plained. “This way we can work
with the most committed swim-
mers, and not have to motivate the
non-serious swimmer to get go-
ing.”

Johnson was somewhat reluc-
tant to verify the apparent decline
of the University of Calgary Dino-
saurs’ team, one thathas dominated
swimming both in Canada and
around the world.

“Their losing of any of their good
swimmers is irrelevant because we
must take care of our job - produc-
ing fast swimmers. If we can do
that, then we don’t have to worry

The University of Alberta Golden
Bear and Panda track teams are
getting some assistance from one
of the province’s finest comedic
troupes. Three Dead Trolls in a
Baggie are back with their hilari-
ous Fringe smash Kevin Costner’s
Naked Butt. In conjunction with
the Nexus Theatre, the Trolls will
headline a Green and Gold track
team fundraising event on October
10 at 8 p.m at Myer Horowitz the-
atre.

Students get first crack at tickets
for $15, adults for $20, which are
available at both HUB and SUB
information booths, and the De-
partment of Athletics (Van Vliet
Centre P220). Tickets are also
available at the Nexus.Theatre by
calling 429-3625 (Weekdays 10a.m.
-4p.m.).

Call it art meets sports in a col-
laborative effort to battle ever de-
creasing funding.

Murder Ball
Challenge

Calling all clubs and organiza-
tions, the Department of Athletics
is actively looking for two willing
teams to play murder ball as the
halftime show for the October 5
football game between the Alberta
Golden Bears and the UBC
Thunderbirds. The on-field battle
is to contest a pair of groups in-
terested in competing for prizes of
the liquid refreshment variety.

Please contact the Department
of Athletics (492-2327) or dropinat
the main office (Van Vliet Centre
P220) for more information and/
or registration.

Soccer Bears,
Pandas in
home opener

Switching pitches to soccer, the
Bears and Pandas will play in next
weekend’s home openers at Faculte

V
2 MINUTE

WARNING

St-Jean fields. After this weekend’s
trip to Saskatoon to battle the
Saskatchewan Huskies and
Huskiettes, both Bear and Panda
kick squads return to host contests.

Friday October 4 features the
Bears ~ versus the UBC
Thunderbirds at 2 p.m., while the
Pandas take on the Lady T’Birds at
4 p.m. On Saturday October 5, the
Bears challenge the Victoria Vi-
kings at 3 p.m.

Panda Athliete-
of-the-Week

Speaking of soccer, this week’s
Panda-Athlete-of-the-Week is
Sherri Froc of the Panda kicksquad.
The fourth year fullback was in-
strumental in a big way for the
defence down in Calgary and

Track, Trolls,
& the Nexus

Lethbridge last weekend. Only one
goal was scored against the 23-
year old science student and Pan-
das throughout the two weekend
tilts.

Bear Athlete-
of-the-Week

For the guys’ side of sports,
soccer midfielder Victor D’Andrea
was the Bears’ Athlete-of-the-
Week. In two contests against the
Calgary Dinosaurs and the
Lethbridge Pronghorns last week-
end, D’Andrea collected two goals
including the winner against the
‘Horns on Saturday. With
D’Andrea’s help, the Bears went
on to sweep the weekend and two
up all in the Canada West Confer-
ence.

BUSKI

EYE CENTER
AND

SUMO AL

Stud

what or who we’re up against. In
the past, they have created some
high calibre swimmers and they
are invariably tough.

“In terms of the other teams,
though, the University of British
Columbia Thunderbirds will be
tougher this year, and the Univer-
sity of Toronto Blues are perenni-
ally strong and will try to play the
role of the spoiler. But as I said, we
must deal with our own situation
first.”

Rookies this year don’t number
the amount the team had last year,
but some swimmers are returning
from a year off such as Jana

Promislow, Chad Sheppard, and
Regan Williams who Johnson says
“is working his guts out so he can
be on the team this year.

“The most prominent rookie
coming to the team this year is
Jason Pratt who won a bronze
medal at the Pan Pacific Games in
August. He is going to be a great
asset to the team.”

POOLSIDE HORSEPLAY: Al-
though already started tryouts, if
you are interested in joining the
team, go at the West Pool on Mon-
day, Wednesday, and Friday (5-7
p-m.) or on Tuesday and Thursday
(6-8 a.m.).

BUSKI EYE CENTER

provides complete eye care
for all Edmontonians

@ Routine Eye Examinations
e@ Contact Lenses
@ Evening and Saturday Appointments on Request
e@ Attached Surgical Suite
@ Two Convenient Locations:

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e Call for an appointment!

Delivery

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Starting September 9
For more information call:
Pool office: 492-3570

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hy

Page 20 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Molson brings best against Bears

by Todd Saelhof

If Molsonis what beer’sall about,
then this great Canadian brewery
must know a thing or two about
hockey. After all, this coming

other hockey histories which also
visit Clare Drake this weekend -
the University of Saskatchewan
Huskies and the University of
Calgary Dinosaurs.

cuts, so we'll have a pretty good
idea of what they have heading
into the season.”

It is also getting down to final
axe action for the Golden Bears

opportunity to see how we fair
(prior to the regular season).”
The opportunity is there, as well
for the Alberta Colleges Athletics’
Conference Champion N.A.LT.

While Morrison and company
are looking to pull away with the
Molson Invitational trophy fol-
lowing this weekend, the Bears re-
alize it is not as imperative to win

Ninth Annual Molson-Golden Bear Invitational Hockey Tournament (Clare Drake Arena)

Friday, September 27:

Saturday, September 28:

Ookpiks vs Dinosaurs 4:30 p.m.
Huskies vs Golden Bears 7:30 p.m.

Dinosaurs vs Huskies 4:30 p.m.
Golden Bears vs Ookpiks 7:30 p.m.

Sunday, September 29:

Ookpiks vs Huskies 11 a.m.
Dinosaurs vs Golden Bears 2 p.m.

weekend’s Molson-Golden Bear
Hockey Invitational brings to-
gether four top notch western col-
legiate puck squads. And it is do-
ing itall under Clare Drake Arena’s
roof here on the campus of the
University of Alberta.

The host Golden Bears them-
selves are perhaps the cream of
this hockey crop, bringing forth a
tradition which includes a CIAU
National Championship appear-
ance to end the 1990-91 season.
Close behind, however, are two

After '90-91 action of the regular
season, the Dinos topped the con-
ference with points while the
Dawgs from Saskatoon finished in
third place. The Bears, themselves,
ended the year between the two
squads, but defeated the Huskies
in the first round of post-season
play.

“(The Molson Invitational) gives
us a look at what (the Huskies and
Dinosaurs) have for the year,” said
Bear assistant captain Adam
Morrison. “It’s getting down to last

who are hoping to cut down to
around 25 players sometime within
the next few weeks. This particular
tournamentis just anotherina long
line of evaluation events for all
prospective Bears.

“Tt gives us a chance to evaluate
a little bit about how our players
are in camp against two teams that
were very good last year,” said
Bear head coach Bill Moores.
“Looking at both line-ups, it looks
like they both havea good nucleus
returning this year, so it’s a good

Ookpiks to pit their roster up
against the three Canada West
Conference teams. This will be their
fourth year in the tournament. And
withouta doubt, the Ookpiks have
proven that they can dance the
Canada West way.

“T think they could play in the
Canada West,” Morrison said.
“They have a good program and
good coaching. They might not be
quite as strong, but I think they
could be right in their with the
same quality.”

the tourney as it is to get an idea of
the other teams entered. After all,
what the Bears learn this weekend
about themselves and their oppo-
nents might have an effect for sea-
sonal matches down the line.

In addition, especially for
Moores and the coaching staff, the
weekend will go a long way in
determining their final Bear team.

“What you have to do is feel out
where you stand right now and see
what guys can play in this league
and what guys can’t.”

stick Pandas nost tourney
by Atul Khullar cern.”
“Waiting for the sun, waiting for There are five teams in this wn
the sun.” weekend’s tune-up for the real ¢ & C-
- Jim Morrison Canada West tournament here at = | — re)
the university next weekend. The Q ¢ —
Cloudy weather seems tobe the Pandas and the University of = > Qo
order of business for the University | Calgary Dinosaurs, along with their o o ae >
of Alberta Panda Field Hockey respective Alumni teams will play im 055 a ©
team. With a winless record after a round robin style tournament. Oo 3aa c QO
last weekend’s first four games in The fifth teamissomewhat unique, @) Oo oe) Q Oo 3
Vancouver, one would expect itismadeupofhighschool players 9 3 QO 8 < OD Q.
things to be stormy in Pandaland. who will play the Pandas in the o> cQG 3 Q
That, however, is not the case Panda Big Sister Game. To make ce} ® o D> >
heading into this weekend’s exhi- the game somewhat even, the Q =| < &@ o ® “TI
bition U of A Invitational Tourna- Pandas and high school players rey Ny ® o-~= @
ment on the turf at Lister Field. will be mixed upand split into two = | 9 ©Q +h =
Sunny weathermaybeimpending squads of about equal ability. 7 3 re) 2 So Q.
as Panda head coach Dru Marshall STICKS ‘N’ STONES: The 5 Oo )
PAINTING MANAGERS accentuates the positive goinginto Pandas will play five games this Q ae 3 c ai
ee orem A nen RHEE gilda oe or Say neay ae
* ught fitness was goi ‘ rayne)

GREAT WORK EXPERIENCE be a problem early in the season,” _consistof two halves of 25 minutes, Q >) ~
* MAKE GOOD MONEY WHILE HAVING FUN P y aa @
a 1 See Marshall said, “But I was pleas- while Sunday’s games are made 3 2g ~<

PLAN NOW FOR YOUR FUTURE! antly surprised at the level of fit- up of two 35 minute halves. 3 3 3 3 >

: ness that the girls showed. Fitness Saturday’s highly touted Panda Big
$$ APPLY: 4TH FLOOR SUB. 9$ at this point is not a major con- Sister Game goes at 10:00 a.m. SS
=]
ee i
aN Dy i] i] re)
CAREERS' DAY '91 Spee <> =
MORNING SZ =
- “/ 11 a
THURSDAY OCT. 3 | > =
I o a ae S
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7 + 98 2.
J Us
BUTTERDOME 3 029 Q ra
1 CoOe< $ Cc
e muffins 9 eho genes
w 06<VQ
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YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO MEET e cinnamon buns ae | 0669 5
: Qvo5s
REPRESENTATIVES FROM = Qagisx @
| e breakfast menu 98-05
OVER 60 COMPANIES . GP oa
e fresh coffee Qao° ©
OUND x=
, ; S305 @
ALL FACULTIES WELCOME Main floor SUB S 35-4
FREE ADMISSION Open 7:00 am = 3 0
; : : a
PRESENTED BY: ESS / AIESEC ed

The Gateway ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ Page 21

V-ball Bears aided by community

by Todd Saelhof

How does buying a house and a
car have anything incommon with
volleyball? Just ask Terry Danyluk,
the University of Alberta Golden
Bears v-ball coach.

After taking control of the
oaching duties for the Golden Bear
quad this year, the former Cana-
dian Olympian needed to find the
necessary financial support to keep
his team afloat for the upcoming
and future seasons. Of course, with
the assistance of the students, the
olden Bears’ and Pandas’ Legacy

Fund went a long way in provid-
ing the dollars needed to field the
1991-92 court men. Still, however,
Danyluk believed in reaching out-
side the campus to pull in addi-
tional funding.

One house and one car later,and
Danyluk has that community cur-
rency support for his v-ball Bears
that he had hoped to find.

“T didn’t have to go out and get
them, they just offered,” Danyluk
said.

The they in question are Bob
Halpern, realtor of RE/MAX real

estate, and Bob Suitor, owner of
Southgate Volkswagen Limited.
Each dropped in Tuesday to meet
the Bears and receive a Randy
Gingera print of Danyluk himself
approaching a spike shot in the 84
Olympics.

“L used to attend the University
and I helped coach soccer back
when the team went to the Nation-
als,” Halpern said. “When this
plight came about, the programs
needed lots of money. That’s when
I got involved with Terry and the
team.”

Rachel Sanders

by Dan Pigat

There is no better way to bond
with somebody than to enclose
yourself in a small room and arm
each person with a potentially
dangerous weapon. . .and a ball.
he new look Squash Club can help
lyou do just that.

They are located in the depths of

the U of A
Squash Club

hell (well, at least in the basement
bf SUB) inroom 030H. You can join
he other 90 (and growing) mem-
bers for just $10 as they head into
heir first tournament of the year,
his Saturday and Sunday. As a
ember of the prestigious Squash
lub, you will also be able to par-
ake in festive socials like the free
pizza and beer party this Saturday
ight.

Some of the many benefits that
you will receive are pre-booked
ourt times on Tuesday evenings
bnd Sunday afternoons, as well as
ree racquet rentals and access to
holesale prices on new equip-
nent. The club sponsors monthly
linics and holds mini-burner
ound robin tournaments. Also
ook fora tournament at the end of
January that is sanctioned by
Squash Alberta.

Despite the reputation that the
Bquash Club has, they officially
eny any allegations that they had

anything (major) to do with the

disappearance of Jimmy Hoffa.
That said V.P. External Eiric

Johnstone who also comments on

the accessibility of the club to new-
comers to the sport.

“The club is not just for experts.
We welcome all ability levels, es-
pecially beginners. It’s a great way
to learn a great sport!”

Mike Johnstone, V.P. Finance,
added “I was conceived onasquash
court.”

Enough said.

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Suitor also jumped at the oppor-
tunity to get involved.

“I’ve always enjoyed the rela-
tions with the University of
Alberta,” Suitor said. “It’s always
nice to givea little back to the com-
munity, and being part of this goal
is one way to do it.”

Being a part of the Bear volleyball
gamesis another way both Halpern
and Suitor hope tocontribute. From
time to time, they will make a
sponsorship appearance to help
root the home team through the
91-92 campaign.

In the meantime,Danyluk is
happy to have RE/MAX and
Southgate Volkswagen on the
Bears’ side. Not only doesit help to
sell the Green and Gold outside the
campus, but it also promotes less
reliance of the Legacy Fund.

“It's very important for us to
survive now,” Danyluk said. “The
biggest support is from the Legacy
Fund, and with some help from
Bob and Bob, we can hopefully
keep the program alive. We don’t
want to draw from (the Fund) again
unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

TAKE-OUT SPECIAL

97799

MEDIUM
PEPPERONI PIZZA
Pa
‘a
‘Hat

Offer not valid in combination with any other
offer. Offer valid at participating Pizza Hut®
restaurants until December 31, 1991. One
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COUPON REQUIRED CODE 13

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coupon per party per visit.
Hut * COUPON REQUIRED CODES

AT JACK DANIEL'S DISTILLERY, we are

| Delivery
4438-55-55

blessed with an unusual cave and special

ironfree water.

Not many distillers have a stream of
cavespring water that's flowing just
outside their door. But that's what we
possess right here in Jack Daniel's
Hollow. And we've used it to make
our Tennessee Whiskey since
1866. Just watching this old
stream meander along is a nice
way to pass idle moments.
Discovering how it flavours
Jack Daniel's, we believe, is the

nicest moment of all.

sf
A meas

OLD Time

JACK DANIEL'S TENNESSEE WHISKEY

If you'd like a booklet about Jack Daniel's Whiskey, write us here in Lynchburg, Tennessee, 37352 U.S.A.

Page 22 ¢ Thursday September 26, 1991 ¢ The Gateway

Metaphor Café

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Comics

Managing Editor: Stephen Notley, 492-5178

| G SUFOAY APTERNOONT AS SHROOM REGAINS PARTIAL ow) We “PRIMED”
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*PERCHANCE * TIL. EACH MORNING, SANDRA
@ Comic, Strip wove! “THOUGHT THE SAME THOUGHTS.
5 EIGHT HOURS A DAY SLEEPING... | 1

PAUL MATWY CHUKK 194]

SOON SHE WAS AT HER DESK AGAIN. HER NEXT
PANIENT HAD BEEN HAVING TROUBLE SLEEPING. —

SEND HIM IN.., °M SURE
| CAN STEER HIM INTHE
RIGHT DIRECTION.

Ray-5

000 OF Course, it
Months loser
Tontor

Was the

Wasn ‘t nti
thok I discovered

Lito take the term “trunk [tterally!

© 2 Guys Who don't like

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Derr than last
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Hey!
De ym gr
Know where Ses

Xhe Spoduia is?

Phiegm

dhe music is pretty loud
in here- [+5 probably
safe +o fart.

MR. (o)

WOker

quent

PRESENTS

AAAAAGH!

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| hope that girl over there
didn't here it. she's smiling.
| bet she heard it.

damn, damn, damn, damn.

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wouldn't it be scary iF there
were some people ute had :
X-ray vision that covid see
fact 945 coming out ? geez,
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make it disperse guickly.
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that girl is still smiling -
my fly must be open. it
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WHAT BERT? | CANT
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OH, QUIT ACTING LIKE)| TAKE THE STUPID

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Classifieds

Advertising Manager: Tom Wright, 492-

FOR RENT

Reduce Typing costs- Rent a computer/ printer for as
low as $83.30/month - Share costs with a friend -
Computer Rental Centre - 421-9748

Spare bedroom for male, $300/munth, very nice. Call
Ray at 430-9925 to inquire.

Southgate, large furnished room, five appliances,
share kitchen, quietlocation. Direct bus to university.
$240.00 mo. Jaqueline, 435-5147.

Needed for November: Female, non-smoking
roommate. South Central $275.00/month includes
utilities. Call Vickie 481-2712 between 4:00-7:00 pm.

FOR SALE

Books for sale. CHEAP. No GST. Afterwords Used
Books, 10546 - 82 Ave. 448-9094.

Need acomputer system? Low prices & no GST. 436-
5241.

Software for IBM (compatibles). Over 1000 Shareware
programs at $3.99/pgm. FREE catalog. Passware
Systems, 464-5660.

Toshiba T1000SE Portable Laptop Computer. Perfect
for university. Phone 438-3421.

1981 Toyota tercel 4 speed. Excellent condition
$1400.00 o.bo.. Phone 436-9625.

LOST

A leather cowboy hat, brown. Lost @ Bear Country.
Would really like it back. Phone Aaron 439-8161.
Possible reward.

Lost - Timex watch with brown leather strap @ Bear
Country. Sentimental value. Reward. Krista 464-
6005.

WANTED

Volunteers needed to assist brain injured young
woman at Dickensfield. A commitment of one 2-hr
session per week for 3-6 mos. Ph. 489-8325

“Tastebuds”, Exciting new restaurant. Now hiring
for all positions. No experience necessary, will train.
Apply 12427 - 102 Ave in Highstreet.

(Volunteer Tutors go through the same screening
process as Big Sisters & Big Brothers).

SERVICES

Marlene’s Typing. Meadowlark area. Reasonable
Rates. Phone Marlene, 484-8864.

Thesis Binding. Reasonably priced. Come direct to
Alberta Book Bindery, 9850 - 60 Ave. Phone 435-
8612.

Professional Typist - Word Processing. 24 Hour
Turn-around service MOST papers. Gwen, 467-
0515.

Word Processing: Great quality with laser printer.
10% discount for students. 433-1620.

PDQ TYPING SERVICE. 11418-79 ave. 438-8287.
%1.50/ds page.

Word Processing, graphics, transparencies all laser
printed, spellchecked and proofread. Student dis-
count. Regular/extended hours, 7 daysa week. Near
116 St & 107 Ave. Linda 453-1136.

ACCURATE WORD PROCESSING by a legal secre-
tary. Rush service available. Reasonable rates. Close
to University. Call Maureen at 435-6623. Days or
evenings.

McMahon Word Processing, APA format, 24-hour
turnaround on MOST papers. 464-2351.

Diamond Computing: Laser wordprocessing, graphs,
APA formatting. Resumes: $15.00. 466-6510.

Macintosh tutoring by professional instructor. Flex-
ible hours; good rates. 466-6510.

Word processing. West-end, Callingwood area. 24-
hr service. Phone 487-9086.

Wordprocessing for term papers and reports - $1.50
- $2.25 depending on format. Resumes prepared for
$25.00. All lazer printed. Executive plus 448-9696.

Word Processing: Term papers etc. Familiar with
APA. $2.50 per D/S page. 142St. & Yellowhead Trail.
Donna 454-1393.

Word Processing Services: Thesis, reports, term pa-
pers, graphics, mailing lists, resumes, APA format.
Competitive rates, professional, high quality work-
manship, laser printer quality. Receivea 10% discount
on your first paper. For more information, call Sheryl
at (403) 457-4305.

St. Albert - P/T childcare required in my home.
Mondays &/ or Fridays 7:30-5:30 (flexible) 19 mo. old
and 4 yr. old. $5/hr. 458-9658.

Room for Rent. Female boarder wanted. In
Millwoods. Good bus routes. $250.00/month. Call
461-8697.

PERSONALS

Pregnant and distressed? Free confidential help/
pregnancy tests. Campus Birthright 492-2115. Rm
030W, SUB. Mon & Wed 10:00 - 1:00, Tues & Thurs
11:00 - 12:30

Babysitter required weekdays 10 hrs/week. Flexible,
Tuesdays Thursdays preferred $5/hour. Call Stacy
452-1829.

Figure skaters - Interested in teamwork, travel, and
competition? Contact Brooke at 458-2057 or Roberta
at 466-9529 for information.

Wanted - Volunteers. Big Sisters/Big Brothers re-
quires volunteers in a number of areas: in the office,
1 (or 1/2 day) per week; to work the occasional bingo,
evenings; at the Dream Home (Sat. or Sun. aft.) oc-
casionally.

Ayoung person needs your help! The Big Sister & Big
Brother Society of Edmonton & Area needs volun-
teer tutors. By spending 3 hours a week tutoring, you
can help make the difference in a child’s life. For
more information call Pari Motlagh at 424-8181.

Canadian Federation of University Women -
Edmonton. Bursaries for mature students with fi-
nancial need. Applications: Student Finance Aid,
302G Students Union Building. Deadline: October
25, 1991.

FOOTNOTES

International Folk Dancing. Fridays 8-10:30 pm.
Room W-14 Van Vliet Centre. Everyone welcome.

Lutheran Campus Ministry: Worship, Sun., 7:30 pm,
St. Joseph’s College Chapel - $2.50 Tues Supper &
Program, Lutheran Student Centre (11122 - 86 Ave.).
“Table Talk,” Wed noon hour, Rm 158A SUB. Mid-
Week Eucharist, Thurs, 7:30 pm., Lutheran Student
Centre. More info 492-4513.

U of A Go Club: Play and learn Go Wednesdays 7:00
pm, SUB L’Express Lounge. (Starts Sept. 18)

Tae Kwon Do Club: beginners, men & women, all
ages 6:30-9pm. Mon & Fri. in SUB bsmt, Wed. in E-19
Phys-Ed. bldg. Phone 472-0872.

TNT Toastmasters. Get the edge and improve your
public speaking. Tuesdays 7:00 - 8:45 pm. Call Bill -
455-9463.

Anglican Chaplaincy. Eucharist 8:30 am Thursdays,
Meditation Room SUB 158A.

THREE LINES FREE

2nd Laserist: So what if it's been done, let's create
some fantastic color mods on top of Tory next study
session. Hormone Twin

Pregnancy Support Service needs mature, non-judg-
mental volunteers. Campus Birthright 492-2115 or
455-1943, or drop in 030W SUB.

Uof A Juggling Club. General Meeting in Quad. All
welcome to come and learn to juggle. Friday After-
noons 2-5.

Debate Club: meets every Wed 5 pm in 2-42 Humani-
ties. New members welcome.

Uof A Star Trek Club. Bo knows Star Trek. See us at
620 SUB.

UofA Pro-Choice. General meetings first Monday of
every month - SUB 606. Office: SUB 614 (hours on
door).

Campus Crusade for Christ: Meetings Thursday at
5:00 in the Kiva Room, Ed North second floor.

Keep-fit yoga club offers programs throughout the
year. For information please phone Carol: 471-2989
(evenings).

Campus Presbyterian Community. Come and eat
your lunch in this free space and have a chat with
Chaplain Pauline Grant and/or with others. Every
Wednesday 12:00 - 1:30, Room 169, HUB Interna-
tional Centre (Ground floor, below A&W). Phone
492-7524.

The Orthodox Christian Fellowship meets every
Tuesday at 5:00 pm in the Interfaith Chapel in HUB
for faith, fun and fellowship. Come and see! For
more information call Bill: 435-3049 or 987-4833.

Baptist Student Ministries, Faith Works! Weekly
bible study on the Book of James. Tues 12:30 Rm 169
HUB (ground floor below A&W). Ph. Mel 492-7504
for info.

Baptist Student Ministries. Focus: special speakers,
music, friendship. Mondays @ 5pm, Rm 169 HUB
(ground floor below A&W). Everyone welcome. Ph
Mel 492-7504 for weekly topics & information.

U of A PC club. Open executive meetings Wednes-
day @ 4:00 in TB 87. Everyone welcome.

Toby; Can't wait for the end of term. Love and Hugs
and Kisses (but not during Sports!) Piggy

Linus: Carped a Jordan lately?

4th Yr. Mech E (Reagan I think??) I want to discover
your tan lines! Let's go skinny dipping, I hear you're
a good swimmer! Busty Blonde

To the captivating blonde with the cast. Inoticed you
being dropped off in front of Tory on. Tuesday the
24th. Any chance you might be single? SHY GUY.

My favorite studly loser: Don't be stressed - I'm
always there & I luv ya more than your little brain
could comprehend (just kiddin’) - Love the Warden

Emesis: Where were you when we needed you?
Remember, Real Women don't get hangovers. Lance
and Lizardman.

Nude Shoes! I 'bin stylin' you in those Levis. Havea
major ache to feed you. Reply to Schmoo.

LOWER FLOOR SUB >

POSTAL OUTLET
e Priority Post
¢e FAX Service

¢ Full postal service
phone: 492-7716 fax: 492-7717

¢ billiard tables

Winter HOURS:

Take some time to relax.

SUBTRONIX

The newly renovated games area
¢ over 50 electronic games

* 6¢ a copy

* coin operated copier
° good quality

e full service

° 50/50 recycled paper

COPYCAITS

10 NEW COPIERS
COPY CARD CONVENIENCE

For all your photocopying needs,

phone 492-3407

MONDAY - FRIDAY 9AM - 10OPM

SAT & SUN 12NOON - 7PM

ON STUDENT
NIGHT
SEPTEMBER 27

SULKIES, SILKS AND SPEED

rs

student I.D.

_ 1/2 price admission with valid

on Sept. 27.

m2) Draws for $3,000 in cash prizes.

Featuring the Molson Canadian
Student Challenge Cup

Watch student clubs and organizations
compete for $5,750 in prizes by pulling
harness racing Sulkies in a 110 yard race.

Post time: 7 p.m.

NORTHLANDS

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